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Library card

Posted by on May. 2, 2014 at 2:50 PM
  • 57 Replies
BM and my so do not get along AT ALL. So got a call today saying that kids have books over due at the library. Last week he got a call from a different county same thing. BM puts down kids names, OUR address, and so's phone number. So now the libraries are calling him to get the books back. He has explained to them that he didn't do this and does not have access to the books to return them. BM has physical custody (thy live with her). So anyway my question is why is she doing that? What would be a reason for it? I could see if she was getting something out of the deal but what could she possibly get out of putting his info and not bringing back books?? Just trying to figure it out out of curiosity
by on May. 2, 2014 at 2:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jules2boys
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2014 at 2:54 PM

My guess is to 'stick it to BF', when truly, the only 'loser' are the other users of the library. 

lildylant
by on May. 2, 2014 at 2:55 PM
1 mom liked this
But what is she really sticking to him? Late fees? She won't get the money:/. Hahaha it seems silly to me:). Thanks for the reply

Quoting jules2boys:

My guess is to 'stick it to BF', when truly, the only 'loser' are the other users of the library. 

jules2boys
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2014 at 3:11 PM

Silly?  Yes, I'd agree.   Sticking him with late fees, getting his name out there as 'unreliable' or 'does not pay bills' or who knows what... BF (mine) put my BM through hell after their divorce.  To him it was a game.  She stopped responding to HIM when he tried to attack her ( verbally ) so, he went after her name, her character, financially, any way he could.  It was never about who might get hurt in the process (other than my BM), his sole focus was on trying to get her to pay attention to him, or to 'get her back' for his perceived wrongs, through others, since she wouldn't respond to him anymore.  She no longer feared him.  She and her therapist had worked to give her a backbone towards him again.  So, he lashed out (as a child would) in various ways.  In the process he tried to sign her up for credit cards, racking up bills for her (she got them voided because she could prove that 'someone' signed her up for them AFTER their divorce and the signature they had on file didn't look anything like hers, but looked an awful lot like HIS... hum....   He tried spreading evil, vile (and completely false) rumors around the church we attended, to get others to 'hate' her as  he did.  He stood out on the public sidewalk outside the house and screamed profanities about her (finally had neighbors ask her if she could get him to stop. She told them that the police, though divorced, still considered it simply a 'domestic dispute' so they wouldn't 'do' anything, but, if anyone else complained, they would, as then it would be a 'public nuisance'.  So, they called, and 'magically' his rantings stopped soon after too.  He signed her up for porn sites (email was fairly new then but he had mail and such delivered to the house). 

What'd this stuff 'do' to her?  What'd 'he' get out of it (other than the credit card issues...)?  The 'satifaction' that she was thinking about him, as much as he was thinking about her I suppose.  It was one thing he could still 'control' where she was concerned.  He wanted others to be as angry with her as he was.  Shrug... your guess is as good as mine as these were all simply theories we came up with, but only HE knew, and he wouldn't say (why would he)? 

Quoting lildylant: But what is she really sticking to him? Late fees? She won't get the money:/. Hahaha it seems silly to me:). Thanks for the reply
Quoting jules2boys:

My guess is to 'stick it to BF', when truly, the only 'loser' are the other users of the library. 


soonergirl980
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2014 at 3:18 PM

It's odd that they allowed her to use his address every one I have been to you have to prove your address which mean she would need mail with his address. you also generally have to live in that county to get one there.

As for her reasoning I don't know.

***Briterican***


Birdseed
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2014 at 3:20 PM

Some people do stupid things. 

What I'm confused about is that normally, you can only join a library in your town or county without paying an additional fee.  I can go to my local library and get a card for free but I can't go to the next town over and do it. And it's been that way everywhere I've lived (IA, WI, IL, MI, TX, VA)....so, something seems odd to me here.

lildylant
by on May. 2, 2014 at 3:29 PM
Wow! Your reply sounds like her and your points make me see things as you do. Scary and sad that people feel the need to live that way:(

Quoting jules2boys:

Silly?  Yes, I'd agree.   Sticking him with late fees, getting his name out there as 'unreliable' or 'does not pay bills' or who knows what... BF (mine) put my BM through hell after their divorce.  To him it was a game.  She stopped responding to HIM when he tried to attack her ( verbally ) so, he went after her name, her character, financially, any way he could.  It was never about who might get hurt in the process (other than my BM), his sole focus was on trying to get her to pay attention to him, or to 'get her back' for his perceived wrongs, through others, since she wouldn't respond to him anymore.  She no longer feared him.  She and her therapist had worked to give her a backbone towards him again.  So, he lashed out (as a child would) in various ways.  In the process he tried to sign her up for credit cards, racking up bills for her (she got them voided because she could prove that 'someone' signed her up for them AFTER their divorce and the signature they had on file didn't look anything like hers, but looked an awful lot like HIS... hum....   He tried spreading evil, vile (and completely false) rumors around the church we attended, to get others to 'hate' her as  he did.  He stood out on the public sidewalk outside the house and screamed profanities about her (finally had neighbors ask her if she could get him to stop. She told them that the police, though divorced, still considered it simply a 'domestic dispute' so they wouldn't 'do' anything, but, if anyone else complained, they would, as then it would be a 'public nuisance'.  So, they called, and 'magically' his rantings stopped soon after too.  He signed her up for porn sites (email was fairly new then but he had mail and such delivered to the house). 

What'd this stuff 'do' to her?  What'd 'he' get out of it (other than the credit card issues...)?  The 'satifaction' that she was thinking about him, as much as he was thinking about her I suppose.  It was one thing he could still 'control' where she was concerned.  He wanted others to be as angry with her as he was.  Shrug... your guess is as good as mine as these were all simply theories we came up with, but only HE knew, and he wouldn't say (why would he)? 

Quoting lildylant: But what is she really sticking to him? Late fees? She won't get the money:/. Hahaha it seems silly to me:). Thanks for the reply

Quoting jules2boys:

My guess is to 'stick it to BF', when truly, the only 'loser' are the other users of the library. 

lildylant
by on May. 2, 2014 at 3:31 PM
When my so called the library he asked if they checked her license and they said no they just have people fill out the form! I was shocked about that too! But maybe they feel the same as me, who the heck is going to sign someone else up at the library???!!

Quoting soonergirl980:

It's odd that they allowed her to use his address every one I have been to you have to prove your address which mean she would need mail with his address. you also generally have to live in that county to get one there.

As for her reasoning I don't know.

jules2boys
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2014 at 3:32 PM

Sooner and Bird.  It wasn't that way in CA.  I haven't applied for a new card here since YDS11 was a newborn (he has his own too) so perhaps things have changed in 10 years?  But, for me, I didn't have to 'prove' anything.  We have city libraries (some cities have their own, not all) and county libraries.  You have to sign up for each individually but you don't have to live there to use them.  I don't even remember that you had to prove you worked in the city to use them either.  You just had to fill out a form to use them.  You pay a fee if you need a new card though (I've had to do this as xMIL lost hers and YDSs cards quite a few years ago).  So, I went to the library and paid for both of their new ones.  No one asked for her information, nor mine, to do this.  I didn't even think about it, that someone else could pay $10 each and suddenly take out books and leave me to pay for them if they didn't return them.  Hummm... 

But, again, 10 years ago no one asked for any 'proof' of anything.  Not sure about now. 

Ok, just googled my county.  I can apply for a library card on line, no PROOF necessary, just an address.  I could get a new card based on my OFFICE address if I wished as well.  Any address will do, apparently.  (it just says no PO boxes, which seems reasonable). :)

lildylant
by on May. 2, 2014 at 3:33 PM
Yes that is the same here. We live in the one county that called last week so we figured that's why she used our address but then she paid a fee to join the other county and put our info on the application so now they are contacting him:/ but still they didn't card her just took the application and money. Or so they told my so when they called today

Quoting Birdseed:

Some people do stupid things. 

What I'm confused about is that normally, you can only join a library in your town or county without paying an additional fee.  I can go to my local library and get a card for free but I can't go to the next town over and do it. And it's been that way everywhere I've lived (IA, WI, IL, MI, TX, VA)....so, something seems odd to me here.

soonergirl980
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2014 at 3:41 PM

in the last 10 years I've gotten cards in Oklahoma, Washington, Idaho, Alababma, and Virginia. All places required not only ID but TWO forms of proof of address like electric bills and leases. You only sign up for "your" and then if you want books from other areas they usually have an exchange. Its weird to me they wouldn't require that in such a large area. I have my suspicison as to why your area wouldn't but I won't go into that here lol.

Quoting jules2boys:

Sooner and Bird.  It wasn't that way in CA.  I haven't applied for a new card here since YDS11 was a newborn (he has his own too) so perhaps things have changed in 10 years?  But, for me, I didn't have to 'prove' anything.  We have city libraries (some cities have their own, not all) and county libraries.  You have to sign up for each individually but you don't have to live there to use them.  I don't even remember that you had to prove you worked in the city to use them either.  You just had to fill out a form to use them.  You pay a fee if you need a new card though (I've had to do this as xMIL lost hers and YDSs cards quite a few years ago).  So, I went to the library and paid for both of their new ones.  No one asked for her information, nor mine, to do this.  I didn't even think about it, that someone else could pay $10 each and suddenly take out books and leave me to pay for them if they didn't return them.  Hummm... 

But, again, 10 years ago no one asked for any 'proof' of anything.  Not sure about now. 

Ok, just googled my county.  I can apply for a library card on line, no PROOF necessary, just an address.  I could get a new card based on my OFFICE address if I wished as well.  Any address will do, apparently.  (it just says no PO boxes, which seems reasonable). :)


***Briterican***


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