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Daddy, time to step up to the plate.

Posted by on May. 9, 2014 at 12:36 AM
  • 17 Replies

I have been having this go around with hubby for months now. I have a SD and a SS and we have a 8 month old. We have been sick like all winter, both kids are in school so needless to say all kinds of new germs are coming in the house. Its a 'rule' in our house we wash up when we get home from being out in public, stores, ect.. The kids always fight me on it, or say they washed their hands when they didnt ect.. Its also a 'rule' we wash up after using the bathroom and before eating. I try to teach by example because I do these things anyways. I have been more attentive about the older kids doing it witht he baby in the house. BUT its also because they are just at that age where they should be doing these things. How can I make hubby step up and take on the role of disaplin. Im using the hand washing a example and has been a current issue going on in our household. 

Ive tried the approach by just talking to him about it explaining my reasoning ect.. But he never keeps it up for long. He'll ask them when he remembers and the SS will say yes, but is telling a fib. And when I check to see if the sink is even wet (they use the sink in the bathroom, we use kitchen sink) and its not Im the bad guy. 

#1. Im mom and I dont want my baby sick. So everyone is going to wash their hands.

#2. Im the one who has to then care for that sick baby

#3. Sure enough if baby gets sick, I get sick. -_- *sigh

Thanks ladies!

by on May. 9, 2014 at 12:36 AM
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by on May. 9, 2014 at 12:47 AM
Everyone gets sick, it's not the end of the world. I agree with washing hands and being clean, but kind of seems like you're over reacting when your checking to see if the sink is wet? I just don't feed my kids very much sugar and they eat garlic and vitamin C daily. Usually they don't get sick, but if they do it doesn't last long because their bodies are strong. Sometimes when you take a way ALL the germs kids get sick more often. I'm not saying they shouldn't wash their hands after they use the restroom and before they eat, but if they "fib" is it really worth the stress of putting the detective hat on?
by Ruby Member on May. 9, 2014 at 12:55 AM
How old are the kids? How long have you been in their lives?

One thing I know to be true is that bad habits are hard to break and the second thing I know to be true is that getting a parent to add in a parenting step that they've never done before is difficult.

If dad was not making them wash up before you came along, dad also needs to be 'trained'. He doesn't remember because it's not something he did before (obviously) and it's likely not that big of a deal to him.

I personally would have a difficult time adjusting to this new 'house' rule. Sure the kids wash their hands before they eat but I don't make them wash up as soon as we walk in the door and get the germs from the world off of them. Up until dinner, usually they are still playing and getting dirty. It's at dinner that they wash the mess off. Unless you and your baby are just very susceptible to illness - I'm not sure why the freak out over germs. It's a proven fact the more we are exposed to, the more immune we become.

But that's another post for another day.

You can't 'make' your husband do anything he isn't willing to do. I don't know how a marriage works that way. If you've talked to him and he knows where you are coming from but still doesn't back you or doesn't remember - then it's apparently not important.

Maybe next time the baby gets sick, you let him handle that. Putting him in your shoes may help him to understand why this is important to you. OR you could decide to compromise and back off on the hand washing so often and ask that they wash up before dinner.
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by on May. 9, 2014 at 1:11 AM
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I have (had, hopefully) a sickly child. She has a few health issues -a kidney issue that, before we knew what it was, presented with a fever (high one) and knocked her out. She also had strep multiple times - we had surgery this year to hopefully help that. She's had bronchitis (4 months old), chicken pox AFTER being vaccinated, migraines, food allergies. She's only 12. 

I have a son who never caught strep from her, who has been way healthier than she has been. She's cleaner than he is. 

Point is you can't make someone not be sick by trying to wash the world off of them. A lot of the crap is airborn anyway. 

I have my kids wash up after the bathroom and before eating. I don't make them wash as soon as they walk in the door. 

Your kid is going to be exposed to a lot of things in her lifetime. Kids don't live in a bubble and shouldn't have to be treated as if they are filthy when they walk in your house.

by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2014 at 1:20 AM
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Kids exposed to germs build natural immunity snd are healthier as they get older.

This shouldn't be this big of a fight. The washing after going potty is a must, otherwise its just gross.
by on May. 9, 2014 at 1:44 AM
It is normal to want to avoid illness but you have to balance it with realism and normal life too.

My kids were exposed (and sick) to a lot in daycare as young kids but, once in school, missed less than 2-5 days for the *total* year on bad years in elementary school. They rarely were sick then and now as teens hardly ever are sick.

While being clean is good so you don't pass on ecoli and salmonella; there is a lot of good studies which have proven early exposure to germs and illness build your immune system.

My advice is to make them wash their hands before they eat by washing in front of you at the kitchen sink and remind them after going to the bathroom...the rest sounds extreme.
by on May. 9, 2014 at 5:57 AM
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I agree with the others. Give up on washing hands when you come in from upside. That's OCD & unless your baby has AIDS or some other immune system issues, your hyper vigilance is over the top and annoying. Haven't you noticed no one else is agreeing with you? That's because it is controlling and unnecessary. Don't put your issues on the SKs.
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2014 at 7:00 AM
What about getting them travel bottles of hand sanitizer? Start by getting them to use those in public.

Besides the more babies are exposed the better off they will be later. You do have to balance it and decide which times are worth the fight. When things are too clean for babies it's not good.
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2014 at 7:06 AM
I just have to say. My 8 year old SD, who has always mouthed everything from the school bus seat to picking up gum off the sidewalk and chewing it to chewing random pieces if plastic is the one of us who is the least sick. She has built an immune system of steal. And no allergies or asthma.
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2014 at 7:08 AM
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The only way to get little kids to wash their hands is to actually take the time to walk them into the bathroom and assist them in doing so. If it is this important to you, you will do that. Find better solutions to your problems and move on.

by ThePrincess on May. 9, 2014 at 10:46 AM
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I think washing up every time you come in from being out of the house is a little overboard. Before eating, ok. After using the bathroom, definitely. How old are the kids? Someone else said it, old habits are hard to break. When my teenage SD moved in with us, she had some habits from living with her mom that we didn't do at our house. Even with her being a teenager, I still had to get on her about it. A LOT. After a while though, it became normal for her. So maybe work on not going overboard with it, have some patience, and work with the kids on it. You will only stress yourself out and make yourself go crazy if you continue to check the sink to see if it's wet after kid says they washed their hands....

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