Now I am considered a s*** parent ... and I guess they aren't even wrong
The saga continues ... but I think the time has come that I need to take the matter to court.
As the regulars on here know, DD13 has been struggling at BF's house (where she stays nearly half of her time). The reason is a crazy SM, the last fall-out we had was when she called DD a "fucking spoiled brat" for not wanting to share her clothes (including underwear), shoes and cosmetics ... this wasn't the first incident of such manner.
I don't speak to SM, we have fairly water-tight CO which bans her from pretty much every involvement concerning DD ... I managed to get this CO because the woman was never quite right in her head, but the more time passes, the worse she gets. Obviously SM is the trigger, but the problem is BF (or the fact that he lacks a pair).
This morning, he returned DD to the yard where we keep our horse ... I was waiting for them so we could quickly muck out and go home ... she is in the middle of revision for her test week.
They arrived, DD was in tears and didn't even greet me ... he dragged her into our storage area and laid into her for about 20 minutes ... I stayed away, since I did not know what it was about. Several other adults, who were in adjacent stables, overheard the conversation.
After 20 minutes, he stormed out and left, DD stumbled out of the storage area and broke down on her knees, sobbing. 4 of her little friends came running, dragged her up and there they stood, for about 5 minutes in a group hug, with a sobbing DD in the middle.
After 5 minutes, I managed to prise her away, and some of the adults joined me to get out of DD what the problem was ..
Well, the problem remains that her stepsisters continue to treat her property as theirs ... they go into her room, take stuff (including personal cosmetics, underwear etc.) ... they don't ask for permission, don't return anything, in fact, DD often finds her brandnew knickers (provided by me) blood-stained in the bathroom bin. On occasions, DD has come back to my house commando, because there were no knickers left for her.
So obviously we all comforted her, she went off to sit next to her horse for about 1 hour ... and was a bit better after that. I was then taken aside by two friends who I respect and trust ... one a mother, one a childless woman in her 60s. Both of them told me that they had no choice but to tell me that unless I stepped in now, I'd be a shitty parent. I couldn't even say anything to the contrary, because they so have a point.
Problem is that DD won't have it ... in fact, initially she was upset about BF's behaviour, but that changed soon when everybody (child and adult) told her she should no longer stay with BF for such long periods of time. She got even more upset, because they "didn't know the true him", because they were misjudging him ... she is obviously blocking out the fact that such melt-downs are quite common, and that they have witnessed many of them.
So ... we have no valid CO which governs the time-split ... according to the last CO, any visitation is down to me. I have decided that, against DD's wishes, I will limit contact to EOWE and half of all holidays. BF will have access to DD whenever he wants, he is, however, NOT to take her to the home he shares with SM and her children unless they are gone.
I am willing to fight this in court ... I've got plenty of written evidence, including pages of correspondence regarding the incident where SM called DD a "fucking spoiled brat" (by the way, she had no reason to do so ... according to BF, she just did it to hurt him). I have, however, a child which does not want to stop the current arrangement. What do I do?