Visitation when the NCP is out of town: update 2 in blue
Do you think the CP is required to drop off the child if the NCP is going to be out of town?
Here's some back story:
BM moved from our town (living about 5 miles away) to go back and live with her mom (4-5 hours away) in mid-December. The current CO reflects that. However, about 6 weeks ago BM informed DH she had gotten a new job and would be moving back to our city ASAP. In those 6 weeks BM has seen SD once (according to SD). SD comes home and complains that she didn't see BM at all, that BM was working in our city.
SD has special needs, some of it is very similar to autism with really needing consistency and a schedule. SD has had some pretty massive meltdowns the last few weeks due to issues with needing to know what was going on with BM and where BM would be and if she'd see BM. Of course, those are things that DH and I can't answer. (SD is 13, 14 next month, but developmentally 3/4-10/11 depending on the areas, but overall she's about 10/11)
Today was Mother's day, weekends were switched so that BM could have SD this weekend. DH drove halfway and dropped SD off with BM's mom on Friday. DH again drove halfway today to pick SD up. He picked up a very angry SD who got into the car, burst into tears and started melting down about how BM wasn't there and was working in our town again and SD was sick of going to visits with BM with BM not being there.
DH sent BM an email about this (communication is done via email unless it's an emergency as the situation is high conflict). DH explained SD's meltdowns to BM (as he has over the past nearly 2 years of inconsistent visitations); except this time DH went a step further. He said, "the parenting plan is between you and me, not you, your mom, and me. I won't be traveling to X town for SD to have visitation with your mom. If you want to give up your weekend to your mom then it's up to you to get SD to your mom. If I don't hear from you by Thursday morning at 8am regarding next weekend's visit I am assuming that SD is staying in town with me. If you need to make arrangements to see SD around your work schedule email me and we'll make it work."
SD was a super cranky kid when she got home. And, again, SD did not do any therapy exercises/activities while gone. And BM knows that SD has upcoming appointments with specialists to determine SD's progress and to see if SD needs surgery or if she can come out of her leg braces.
It's just getting frustrated! And honestly, we're spending an extra $100 a month to give BM's visitation to BM's mom, all the while BM is falling further and further behind in CS, and refusing to help with SD's youth group trips (she's not CO'ed to do so, but has in the past told DH via email that if SD needs things to let her know...)
DH asked BM to contact him by Thursday morning. No response yet, so he sent her a text and asked her to ensure that she's read her email. I'm anticipating a big fight, only because I just don't trust BM. She hasn't responded to DH's text, she also hasn't responded to SD's texts since Monday.
At 2pm this afternoon BM sent DH a text saying, "I will be picking up SD today at 6pm at X location and I will drop her off at the same location at 6pm on Sunday." (the location just 3 minutes from our house). DH just said, "That's fine, we will be there."
So, BM is taking visitation. It's unknown as to whether or not she'll be spending that time with SD or if she's just dropping SD off with BM's mom. But, I guess that's her choice.
SD was very anxious asking both DH and I where she was going this weekend. We just kept telling her that we don't know, she'll have to talk to BM about that, but that BM is picking her up at 6pm at X location.