Communication between BM and I has had its ups and downs.
The first two years was incredibly volatile, and we didnât speak at all. When we finally âofficiallyâ (there were some tense encounters) met, BM immediately asked for my opinion on some important subjects. From then on, she included me in serious topics concerning SS. At first I was excited to be included, but then realized she was trying to go through me to circumvent DHâs decisions.
When I finally decided that communication needed to be between DH and BM, she threatened me that she was going to take us to court. I stopped communicating with her. When didnât talk for a while after that, then reached a point of polite conversation.
Our communication has tapered off, with a few random spurts of polite communication. Sheâs been speaking strictly with DH for a while now, but over the past few weeks sheâs been texting me. It was simple things â She wanted to remind me to pack two drinks for Field Day. She let me know she packed SSâs basketball shirt in his backpack. She asked if SS left any library books at our house. It was simple things with simple responses. I donât even think I responded to a few of her textsâŚ
She sent me a text today. I was in the middle of substituting, so I didnât get the text until after school was out. It was a (in my opinion) snarky sounding text about how she worked really hard to heal SSâs chapped lips and they looked chapped again, and how *I* needed to make sure that SS was putting on chapstick.
It was out of left field, so I decided not to respond. I left, picked up SS and DD, and took them to the library. When we got to the library, she texted me and asked if Iâd gotten her text. I sent back, âYes.â
I took the kids home, and grabbed my laptop to leave for class (finals are today). On the way out the door, I asked DH if BM had contacted him. He said no.
As soon as I got to class, BM sent me another text. It was a long text that told me that (basically) she just wanted what was best for SS and it was her job to make sure he was being taken care of. Then it was about how she was the only responsible parent and it was so frustrating to see that Iâd dropped the ball. And how I canât expect SS to remember to put on chapstick by himself and I needed to make sure he was putting chapstick on his lips. She just continued to rant at me âŚ
I havenât texted her back. And at this point, I donât really think Iâm going to text her back. I just wanted to pick your brains about the situation.
I donât mind simple communication, but I hate how unpredictable it can be. I feel like it's going good, and then something like this happens. What would you do if you were in my shoes?