I have heard that the parent/child relationship can not be influenced by a SP. Many times here. Yet I often read about behaviors on the part of a SP that cause significant harm to a child. A fucking child.
Sending them to jail.
Evicting from family home.
Covering up child's name on a card.
And each one of these posters claims innocence. No choice. DHs decision.
If anything, as a SM, we need to do no harm. We can and should create boundaries to protect ourselves, but those should be passive, never actively damaging to a child.
I am disgusted today by some things I am reading.
These are children. The children of the man uo claim to love so much. Be an adult. You have so much power to harm and hurt these children. Don't.
Advice. Don't post angry. Your rational argument gets lost in emotion.
I never would advocate for accepting unacceptable behavior in my home. Setting fire to my home, attacking my child with a weapon, beating me, yes, press charges. When I asked for an example, I never meant the extreme or obvious. An old poster who randomly appears has resurfaced. Of course all her old posts about the specifics are gone, deleted. But her SS stole the identity of her infant son and she knew if she reported it, he would end up in jail. She did because she insisted she needed to to protect her son's credit. Her husband did not want her to. What she needed were stronger boundaries, not jail time for her SS15. She had choices. She chose the one that caused great harm.
i stand firm on my belief that we as SMs have great power to harm our stepchildren. And of course the opposite holds true. We can be invaluable assets in our skid's lives. And many of us can't see that we hold the power both ways. The vast majority of us though will not go to either extreme. Most of us are simply loved and respected by the children of the men we love. I know I impact my skids. But it is and should be a passive impact. I bring things to their world just by virtue of living with me that they never experienced with either parent.
saying Do no harm does not mean be a doormat. Why do some of you have to be so black and white? When I say passive impact it does not mean martyr SM or doormat. It means be a strong woman, know your boundaries and choose a man who respects them. That is some strong passive impact on skids if they can learn that from me.