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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

2 Homes

Posted by on May. 15, 2014 at 5:33 PM
  • 193 Replies
11 moms liked this
Kids who have parents that don't live together have 2 homes. They do not have 1 home and sleepovers at the other. They have dads home and moms home. I hate hearing someone say "when you leave your dads and go back home" NO!! This is the child's home aswell. This is based on our situation, not all. If the only thing that travels back and forth is a back pack, then dads is home as well. .
by on May. 15, 2014 at 5:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Polkadotted
by Gold Member on May. 15, 2014 at 5:41 PM
1 mom liked this

If they are both home, what's wrong with that?

In our case, the kids don't see BM's house as home.  It's not always the case that the kids see both places as home.

Annawest
by Bronze Member on May. 15, 2014 at 5:42 PM
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I think that depends on how the NCP makes it.  If the NCP doesn't make it feel like home, then it is not home to the child.  My child calls both houses home.  My SS calls the CP's house home and the other house is visiting.  He has to take clothes, toiletries, shoes, anything he may need to the NCP's house.  That is a sleep over.  That is not home.  Home has clothes, home has a toothbrush, home has the things a child needs.


sm1bm3
by Bronze Member on May. 15, 2014 at 5:42 PM
4 moms liked this
Kids also have one big family. When my kids draw pictures of their family at school it includes all members from both homes, not two seperate drawings of two seperate families. I think it's great that my kids have so many people they love and trust :)
Pero3
by Silver Member on May. 15, 2014 at 5:56 PM
3 moms liked this

I don't think it's that black and white! It depends on many things, age, relationship with the parents etc.

My DD refers to my place as home, and it annoys BF. At mine, she's got her space, her peace, her friends, at his she doesn't. It's a personal feeling, and the child has to decide how they feel. Home isn't necessarily linked to a parent living there.

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on May. 15, 2014 at 5:59 PM
4 moms liked this

My stepson is part of the family but in no means is our house his home. If you have to pack a bag....that is called visiting.

codysara
by Bronze Member on May. 15, 2014 at 6:01 PM
I agree with you. If the ncp makes it feel like a sleepover. There are definately exceptions to what I said. But in our situation my ss has a room and everything he needs here. Including a picture of his BM on his night stand.

Quoting Annawest:

I think that depends on how the NCP makes it.  If the NCP doesn't make it feel like home, then it is not home to the child.  My child calls both houses home.  My SS calls the CP's house home and the other house is visiting.  He has to take clothes, toiletries, shoes, anything he may need to the NCP's house.  That is a sleep over.  That is not home.  Home has clothes, home has a toothbrush, home has the things a child needs.

KnowItAll
by Silver Member on May. 15, 2014 at 6:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Whatever.
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on May. 15, 2014 at 6:03 PM

SS's consider Dad's home their home and where Mom lives is "mom's".

codysara
by Bronze Member on May. 15, 2014 at 6:03 PM
3 moms liked this
Why does he have to pack a bag? Why not provide him with the comfort of not just being a guest?

Quoting baparrot2:

My stepson is part of the family but in no means is our house his home. If you have to pack a bag....that is called visiting.

LaurenCalt
by Member on May. 15, 2014 at 6:06 PM
1 mom liked this

It really depends on the situation.  My son's father and I share joint physical custody right now, because my son is only 3.5.  So half of the week, he's with me and half he's with his father.  Right now, he has two homes - one in mommy's house and one in daddy's house.

But my SO's daughters only visit on the weekends.  They have their own room, a bed, clothes, toys and general hygiene stuff.  But its not "home" to them - its daddy's house. 

Kids are going to feel at "home" wherever they are the most, regardless of what stuff is there for them.  When my SO and I move in together, we're planning to get a 3-bedroom house (at a minimum).  A room for my son and a room for his daughters' with all of their stuff.  But our house still won't feel like "home" to them probably. 

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