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explain the difference to me....

Posted by on May. 16, 2014 at 9:36 PM
  • 19 Replies
My Son love his video games and recently got a Kindle for christmas. He lives on netflix. My df had issues with him always being on it and we time limit him ect.

His dd lives full time with mom. We are NCP. She has been on her ipad the whole night. If my dd isn't around she's on the ipad..in the car...in the house...where ever. Even when my dd is home she will be on it but just saying if the kids aren't around to play that's what she does.

She never gets in trouble for being on it. Hell she was crying abouT going to bed with out tv on and he gave it to her. It wasn't a school night but when my kids ask for that they get told no.

He doesn't hold her to any of the same shit he does mine. I know she on her ipad at her mom's bc she texts him at 11pm on school nights. But he won't say anything to BM bc he doesn't want her getting intro trouble.

I know my son has adhd and can be a handful so i gave up comparing with him. Atleast treat the girls the same.

She was here spring break and clearly doesn't expect to follow house rules when my kids aren't home. And on a side note he lived with family and they let her do anything so then when she's here its like I'm the bad guy bc he's only following the rules bc of me.

Sigh.....It's a losing battle

*i think it's important to add or girls r the EXACT same age.
by on May. 16, 2014 at 9:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
wise.toes
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2014 at 9:54 PM
1 mom liked this

this is YOUR kid, that you don't share with him? i'd tell him to shove it. he doesn't dictate what your child does. 

XXanonymousXX
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2014 at 10:06 PM
I think you either get on the same page and work together to parent all kids, or you each just parent your own. Whatever works best but it's got to be consistent across the board.
Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2014 at 10:07 PM

is he the father of your child?!

if not-then he has no say in your child.

DD10 isn't DH's-he has no say in how she's disciplined/reprimanded etc.


KikiB85
by Member on May. 16, 2014 at 10:17 PM
I agree with the whole time limit and what not. And i go to bat for my kids. I discipline his..i have to. Tho any major issues he is gotten for. But he finally admitted that he sees her less so he doesn't want to yelling at her. Or whatever. Same shit my kids father says with my kids.

I just want us to be on same page. That's all. Treat them both the same. I'm tired of the same conversation. House rules apply to all.

Quoting wise.toes:

this is YOUR kid, that you don't share with him? i'd tell him to shove it. he doesn't dictate what your child does. 

KikiB85
by Member on May. 16, 2014 at 10:18 PM
I just want us all on the same page. I make my kids follow whether she's here or not. He should do the same.

Quoting XXanonymousXX: I think you either get on the same page and work together to parent all kids, or you each just parent your own. Whatever works best but it's got to be consistent across the board.
XXanonymousXX
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2014 at 10:42 PM
He should, but if he's not what can you do to change it? I assume you've told him how you feel. I'd say stop allowing his input or enforcement with your own kids, but that's going to end up confusing them if it goes back and forth. Is counseling an option, to help you guys communicate?


Quoting KikiB85: I just want us all on the same page. I make my kids follow whether she's here or not. He should do the same.

Quoting XXanonymousXX: I think you either get on the same page and work together to parent all kids, or you each just parent your own. Whatever works best but it's got to be consistent across the board.
wise.toes
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2014 at 10:58 PM

well..SO and i are on the same page, but even we do some things differently. it's impossible for all kids to be treated 100% exactly the same.

and i do agree that he should be more lax since he only sees her so little. 


Quoting KikiB85: I agree with the whole time limit and what not. And i go to bat for my kids. I discipline his..i have to. Tho any major issues he is gotten for. But he finally admitted that he sees her less so he doesn't want to yelling at her. Or whatever. Same shit my kids father says with my kids. I just want us to be on same page. That's all. Treat them both the same. I'm tired of the same conversation. House rules apply to all.
Quoting wise.toes:

this is YOUR kid, that you don't share with him? i'd tell him to shove it. he doesn't dictate what your child does. 


4girlsmum
by on May. 16, 2014 at 11:02 PM

Let him handle his kid his way and you handle yours your way....

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on May. 17, 2014 at 12:00 AM
The difference?

One parent stands up and says no and the other stands back and does what she's told.

I would start standing up to my husband. What's he going to do? Leave? Hit you? Be mad at you? Well if he did anyone of those things for me standing my ground - well then he wasn't worth it to begin with.

No double standards in my home. I don't care the reason. My husband does not have children outside of the one we have together but he has been guilty of being harder on my daughter than he is on our son. And that doesn't fly in my house. I don't allow him to 'bully' my child. I handle all of my child's discipline and guidance. That doesn't mean he doesn't matter to me or that I don't take his opinion often and go with it but when I see he is being unreasonably unfair to my daughter - I knock him down. It's been a while since he's been that way. As the years have passed, he is actually way more lenient with her than he is with ds. I think he realized that he is not responsible for her outcome in life so it was easier for him to let some things go. I think he also realized how much more laid back she is around him when he's not trying to strong arm her.
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Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on May. 17, 2014 at 12:05 AM
1 mom liked this

So, tell him he doesn't get to tell your kids what to do, especially if he's not going to hold his own child to the same standards.

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