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why are people on here so judgemental?!?

Posted by on May. 24, 2014 at 2:47 AM
  • 184 Replies
5 moms liked this

So I've posted a few posts on here and pretty much all I've gotten is a bunch of judgemental a holes. Is this not a forum for advice and support? Or for people to get bored and just come on here and judge? I originally joined this website looking for support. All I've really gotten is judgement. It makes me not even want to post on here anymore.

by on May. 24, 2014 at 2:47 AM
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needstovent
by New Member on May. 24, 2014 at 2:49 AM
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Tell me about it!! I've gotten mostly negative responses. I made my first post tgis morning and most of them are so judgemental. I'm already thinking about deleting my acct. I don't even want to look at my post's responds!
Shannonb88
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2014 at 2:52 AM
1 mom liked this
Believe me, there are a 'few' woman on here who do not like me. At all. I post certain things that I really do need advice on. Most people are helpful, some are not. You just have to like past the few who have nothing better to do that bash you. I've have received great advice on this for, that's why I stay. For the others, they don't know what I deal with, put up with and live with, so I ignore them.
lilly_lulu1987
by Member on May. 24, 2014 at 2:54 AM
4 moms liked this

Seriously!! i deleted my last post after only reading one response. I posted two posts about dealing with my SDs BM and people said that I was "too obsessed" with BM and it wasnt healthy. I'm sorry, is this not a forum for step parents?!? This is supposed to be a place for women to come together and give eachother support, not to judge. Do people not realize that most of the women on here are going through a rough time and looking for help and all the judgement only makes it worse? I also dont understand why we cannot post anonymously in this group. Makes me not want to post at all.

Quoting needstovent: Tell me about it!! I've gotten mostly negative responses. I made my first post tgis morning and most of them are so judgemental. I'm already thinking about deleting my acct. I don't even want to look at my post's responds!


needstovent
by New Member on May. 24, 2014 at 3:00 AM
1 mom liked this
I read all my new replies and it just gotten worse. They were making fun of me and laughing at me. They were also taking the side of my fiance's ex wife! They called me bitch, rotten brat, they made fun of two words that I mispelled because I was so frustrated while typing my post! So cruel. I sent a message to the founder of this website. Well goodluck to you,I will be deleting my acct and will never join any blogging site ever again.
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2014 at 4:19 AM
4 moms liked this

While I agree that at times, people may be quick to judge, I think you also have to consider other perspectives.  Oftentimes, people come on here and post about their sitch and the issues they are having and unfortunately (or fortunately?) the issue is really their state of mind, expectations, etc.  Getting a different perspective can be very helpful actually.

When I first joined 5 years ago, I had some issues.  Some of the "harsh" responses were actually the most helpful and those posters actually became friends of mine.  They made me realize that it wasn't BM or Skids that were an issue--it was my DH. 

I think a lot of new posters come in looking for support when really what they need is a kick in the pants.  It's easy to get focused on the wrong thing--like BM or kids. 

AirForceWife13
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2014 at 4:23 AM
1 mom liked this
Run away now. This is not a support group whatsoever. Just mean women period. If you dont do thing they way they think you should do then youre screwed.
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2014 at 5:25 AM
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It's not a support group. You're right.  But if you really are interested in solutions, it's a good place to be.

Unless of course you want a pat on the back for being nuts. 

Quoting AirForceWife13: Run away now. This is not a support group whatsoever. Just mean women period. If you dont do thing they way they think you should do then youre screwed.


whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on May. 24, 2014 at 6:59 AM
6 moms liked this

nope, it's a forum of a holes. You should just leave. There, problem solved.

leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2014 at 9:24 AM
2 moms liked this
It is a forum of women, judgement comes with that, they aren't your friends, they are strangers, you will get different perspectives, make use of that, don't expect support.
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XXanonymousXX
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2014 at 10:10 AM
8 moms liked this
This is not a support group in the traditional sense. No one is going to champion your cause as the poor, unappreciated SM for the sake of making you feel good. But honestly, is that really what you need? I get plenty of that from my family and friends, because they know me and are partial to my side in situations. I'm on here because it gives me access to different points of view. I already know how I feel, I want some insight into how BMs feel, advice from successful SMs. And also how plain old mean-ass bitches feel. It helps put my situation in perspective and gives me ideas for solutions I may not have thought of on my own. Don't take things personally. We don't know you, we could never walk in your shoes. We just give our opinions based upon the little information we are given. And we are all safely tucked behind our computer screens, some clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels I believe. We have the ability to be abrasive without consequence, which is a good and bad thing. Take it for what it is.
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