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I don't love them... PLEASE READ (ETA)

Posted by on May. 30, 2014 at 2:10 PM
  • 82 Replies

Ok not really true, just a good title to get ya in here

. But this is important.... Please read!


So.. This comes to my QUESTION.......s

Do you as a biological mother, love your step children the exact same way that you love your biological children? 

Do you think it is different for a man?

ETA:

SORRY for title I apologize.

I just wanted to know because my SO Was upset that i said that. When I tried explaining that I know that any woman who carried and gave birth to a child will have a special bond with them versus another's child. He stormed out and said he did love my dd the same. So I felt like a horrible person but I can't help the way I feel. Well see I explained that I did love them. That I cared for them, I treat all my kids the same. But to that he just said "good for you". Lol.

It started because my oldest stepdd has been picking on our youngest. Just doing mean things. Like frightening her, kicking toys away while she is in tears or putting pepper in her mouth. Age diff, 11 and just turned 4. So i said maybe she is jealous.like its always a competition. He brought up that maybe it's cus at her moms she is the only girl.  I said well she might not be spoiled here but she still needs to act right. I said it will always be an ongoing problem since things will not change. That no matter how much I do physically she will not be fulfilled emotionally. She will only feel that love and bond when she is with her mom. He looked puzzled, I tried explaining. He got upset and left. 

MORE INFO^^
by on May. 30, 2014 at 2:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Eternity807
by Bronze Member on May. 30, 2014 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this

I do not love my SS's the same way I love my DD.  I can't help that.  I grew her and have 100% (with her father) decision making rights over her.  I can't say that about either of my SS's.  I love both my SS's very differently too. 

3HotCheetos
by Member on May. 30, 2014 at 2:14 PM

Do you think it's different for a man?

Quoting Eternity807:

I do not love my SS's the same way I love my DD.  I can't help that.  I grew her and have 100% (with her father) decision making rights over her.  I can't say that about either of my SS's.  I love both my SS's very differently too. 


CrunchMaMaBear
by Queen Crunch on May. 30, 2014 at 2:16 PM
3 moms liked this
I will never love anyone's child as much or the same as my own. Never
Eternity807
by Bronze Member on May. 30, 2014 at 2:16 PM

 Definitely.  But I think a lot of it also depends on when they came in to the child's life too.

Quoting 3HotCheetos:

Do you think it's different for a man?

Quoting Eternity807:

I do not love my SS's the same way I love my DD.  I can't help that.  I grew her and have 100% (with her father) decision making rights over her.  I can't say that about either of my SS's.  I love both my SS's very differently too. 

 

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on May. 30, 2014 at 2:16 PM

Why so desperate to get people to read?  Chill.  Every post gets a response here.  No need for these tactics.

But to answe your questions, no, I don't live my skids the way I love my DDs and no I don't think it is different for a man.

owl0210
by Bronze Member on May. 30, 2014 at 2:17 PM
No I don't even love my soon to be step-son. I will treat him well when he's in my home but I have no "love" for him. The love that I have for my son is a whole different level.
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on May. 30, 2014 at 2:18 PM

So you think a man can love his skids the same way he loves his bios?  But a woman can't?

Quoting Eternity807:

 Definitely.  But I think a lot of it also depends on when they came in to the child's life too.

Quoting 3HotCheetos:

Do you think it's different for a man?

Quoting Eternity807:

I do not love my SS's the same way I love my DD.  I can't help that.  I grew her and have 100% (with her father) decision making rights over her.  I can't say that about either of my SS's.  I love both my SS's very differently too. 



3HotCheetos
by Member on May. 30, 2014 at 2:20 PM


Quoting pdxmum:

Why so desperate to get people to read?  Chill.  Every post gets a response here.  No need for these tactics.

But to answe your questions, no, I don't live my skids the way I love my DDs and no I don't think it is different for a man.

Lol. Sorry. It's because I said the same thing to my SO and he said that he loved my dd the same as his kids and our kids. I said there is no way a biological mother who grew her child and gave birth will say they love another 's child the exact same way as they love their own. He got mad and left back to work early. 

3HotCheetos
by Member on May. 30, 2014 at 2:22 PM

I agree. I love my step kids. I am helping raise them. They live in our home. I am very active in their lives, I am their biggest cheerleader. But the bond I have between my children is completely different. 

Quoting CrunchMaMaBear: I will never love anyone's child as much or the same as my own. Never


Closet_Case
by Member on May. 30, 2014 at 2:23 PM
This
Except with my SD


Quoting owl0210: No I don't even love my soon to be step-son. I will treat him well when he's in my home but I have no "love" for him. The love that I have for my son is a whole different level.
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