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At a loss...

Posted by on Jun. 1, 2014 at 11:19 AM
  • 21 Replies

I posted a few weeks ago about an issue with my ex's gf texting dd about her relationship problems and making comments about my ex's and mine decisions to DD. Well, I thought we had it figured out after we spoke, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Yesterday, at DD's birthday party at the pool she got in the water, took DD from her friends, went over to where I was sitting supervising the kids and started hugging and kissing DD like there is no tomorrow all the while glaring at me like "look at what I can do". I had 3 other kids to look after (their parents were not in attendance), so I couldn't do anything but sit and watch the show that she put up. My ex was totally disengaged, sitting in the hot tub, so he didn't even see what transpired. I talked to him later and I told him I feel hurt, helpless and saddened by this situation. I am at a loss as to what to do. I'm pretty sure this woman is trying to get my ex and I to fight as well as trying to turn my own kid against me. What do I do?

by on Jun. 1, 2014 at 11:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 11:40 AM
2 moms liked this

I can't find any of your previous posts so not aware of the backstory.  How old is DD?  I get the impression she is young?

Based on this post, I'll throw you a piece of advice my Dad used to give me when my brother would antagonize me.  "When you stop reacting, he'll stop doing teasing."

Don't react.  Unless this woman is doing some kind of harm (and hugging doesn't seem harmful unless DD doesn't like it), just don't react.  It seems to me that she's after a reaction.  She's trying to make you jealous.  And it's working.  I don't know how a hug turns a child away from their parents.  I can understand why you're annoyed but when you tell your ex that his GF's actions bother you and he tells her, she's just gotten what she was after. 

Your profile pic makes me think you're pretty young and the situation you describe makes me think that all of the other players are too.  Very immature stuff. 

Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 12:19 PM

I would just ignore. She definitely just looking for a reaction. Try not to give it to her.  It must have been obvious to everyone what she was doing. Let her be the fool. Just shake your your head.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 12:25 PM
I would honestly (as a mom here not a stepmom) just ignore that. Let her hug and kiss and glare at you. Just let it roll. I can understand you felt that she was antagonizing you but really? What is hugging and kissing hurting? Unless it was upsetting to your child - it's not hurting anything. Just let this go. It's not something I would ever let her know bothers you.
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Leigh84
by Gold Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 12:28 PM
She sounds like a wackadoodle. She seems to want some kind of reaction, don't give it to her
biberonka
by Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 12:32 PM
It is not that I mind her hugging and kissing my child. She's done that many times when we've been together and I've never had an issue with it. It upset me this time because she took her away from her friends that were there and also because it was not genuine, she used dd to upset me on purpose, knowing I had no way to do anything about it.


DD is 10, gf is 36, mother of 3 children of her own that she has abandoned (her own choice, not a court order), still married to her husband, living with my ex.
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 12:34 PM
4 moms liked this

My snarky ass self would have used this opportunity to tell her what a nice friend she is to your DD.

biberonka
by Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 12:37 PM
If I did that she would probably start crying and saying how I'm mean to her. I was not going to ruin DD's day.

Quoting baparrot2:

My snarky ass self would have used this opportunity to tell her what a nice friend she is to your DD.

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 2:28 PM
I would just ignore and find it amusing and she would know I never even saw it in the way she intended.
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kellynh
by Kelly on Jun. 1, 2014 at 3:14 PM
1 mom liked this

She can't attend anymore parties... Problem solved 

biberonka
by Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 3:22 PM
How do I make that happen without sounding like a psycho bitch? I don't think I can even ask for that...

Quoting kellynh:

She can't attend anymore parties... Problem solved 

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