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It's that time again CS and clothes *Update*

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 9:46 PM
  • 81 Replies

My DH gets a text from BM saying that he has to buy three outfits for each of the three kids and she will buy three. Dh agrees but only on the condition that all the clothes remain here at our house. BM tells him that he has to split the cost with her. DH argues back that clothes fall under what child support is supposed to be for. Any extras he keeps for his kids at his house. Is DH wrong? Should he just grin and bear it and buy the clothes?

Thoughts?


*Update* So after fighting with DH he bought the clothes and I decided to buy some for here too. 

by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 9:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sara82lee
by Bronze Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:09 PM
2 moms liked this
I wouldn't be buying any clothes for her. My opinion is just say no. Don't make it a discussion or argument. Don't explain. Sorry, no, and walk away.
mrsd2013
by Silver Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:21 PM
Is dh ncp or cp? Do they have joint custody? I don't think that dh is wrong. Child support is meant to provide things the child needs such as food and clothing.
destinyangl21
by Bronze Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:23 PM

He is non custodial. He gets EOWE and once a week overnights. In the summer its 50/50 half at our house half at BM's house.

Quoting mrsd2013: Is dh ncp or cp? Do they have joint custody? I don't think that dh is wrong. Child support is meant to provide things the child needs such as food and clothing.


faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:28 PM
Child support goes toward that.

In our sitch BM and SO buy clothes for their own houses but we don't care if te kids wear "good" clothes back and forth. They don't keep the good clothes from each other and BM would be too embarrassed to put the kids in shitty clothes and so would SO.

In a case where a parent hoarded the good clothes id suggest getting a few decent used or very cheap plain wal mart clothes for exchanges
HighRoadToPnH
by Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:30 PM
I love it: he has to buy xyz. He needs to provide for his children and clothe them when they are with him. She can't make him buy the same amount of clothes she wants to for them...unless it's specified in the court order of course
luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:31 PM
1 mom liked this
Chold support covers that. Imo each parent is responsible for the kids needs while under their roof. Child support is paid to the cp to help with those needs, but cp is ultimately responsible for cps house
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:35 PM
1 mom liked this

This is the kind of stuff that kids notice and hear about and it makes things suck as a kid.  Especially if someone wants to keep things at one home over the other. <---says child of divorce.

Dad should be providing clothing for summer if he has 50/50.  If Dad has a lot more money than Mom, it would make sense to pay for more outfits.

My DH had 50/50 year round.  We paid for all of the clothing.  It went back and forth. Mom couldn't have done it.  She didn't have a job.  She was living off of CS and help from her mother.

I just don't think this is the sort of thing to get all hard core over and I DEFINITELY think it is shitty to insists that stuff stays at your house. My dad used to make us strip down so nothing HE bought went to Mom's.  That sucked.

Think bigger picture here.  If you go to a nice second hand shop, the kids can get tons of clothes for pennies on the dollar.  You don't have to by 200 dollar jeans to get 200 dollar jeans. 

The kids need to have reasonable clothing I would suggest being the bigger person here.  For the kids.

ZennMomma
by Bronze Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:49 PM

DH has 50/50. Clothes we (he) buys stay here, BM buys them clothes. No one pays child support in this scenereo.

I get CS, I use to it buy clothes, shoes etc for my son. The only extra I ask for is things like my sons school trip this year, Karate etc.

Clothes were going every which way with SD, but she started complaining that her mom was stealing her clothes and then not washing them....SD often showed up in the most worn out second hand clothing...So no more sharing clothes between houses.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jun. 3, 2014 at 1:02 AM
Child support should cover clothes. However, as a parent the bigger priority should be keeping a child in waether appropriate nice clothing and NOT focused on who buys what for which house.

If a kid needs clothes, parents buy them. When DH was NCP he bought clpthes for our house and would send stuff to BM's.
Leigh84
by Gold Member on Jun. 3, 2014 at 5:26 AM
Cs covers clothes, what's she's asking for is extra
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