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Divorce possibility and current choices

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2014 at 6:42 PM
  • 27 Replies

SMs: If you could know today that you would be divorced from your spouse in the near future, what would you do differently today? In terms of your finances, co-mingling or not, involvement with stepchildren, having children of your own, interaction with BM, etc, etc. Generally, what would you do differently?

BMs: I guess you could answer the same questions.

Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

by on Jun. 3, 2014 at 6:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Jun. 3, 2014 at 6:48 PM

Nothing....we don't share bank accounts....if the kids wish to keep in touch-that's their choice-and if I had BM's permission-I would allow it. We share no children and really DH doesn't have much to do with DD10. (he goes to work shortly before she comes home from school-works til midnight-so really he only sees her on the weekends)


sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jun. 3, 2014 at 7:27 PM

Nothing.  Whatever happens, I'm taken care of.  Not by him, I'd be completely fine on my own.  I didn't spend 20+ years taking care of my own ass to be completely lost if any man decided to take a hike.  Would be a bummer for sure, but I'd be fine.

I told the kids that if anything happens (death, divorce) it's up to their mother if they're still minors if they will have contact with me.  Once they are adults, it's up to them if they want to be in my life.

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jun. 3, 2014 at 7:52 PM

 i agree with this.

Quoting sandeeyo:

Nothing.  Whatever happens, I'm taken care of.  Not by him, I'd be completely fine on my own.  I didn't spend 20+ years taking care of my own ass to be completely lost if any man decided to take a hike.  Would be a bummer for sure, but I'd be fine.

I told the kids that if anything happens (death, divorce) it's up to their mother if they're still minors if they will have contact with me.  Once they are adults, it's up to them if they want to be in my life.

 

 
        
         

runinpinkshoes
by Silver Member on Jun. 3, 2014 at 8:03 PM
DH and I are TTC right now, so I'd stop that immediately if divorce was imminent. Other than that, nothing different. Our finances are separate. I don't have a close enough relationship with the kids to still see them if DH and I divorced. And neither one of us interact with BM, ever.
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Jun. 3, 2014 at 8:07 PM

I would move and get back into my career field.

Probably the biggest leap of faith I've taken (as far as my comfort level) was "retiring" to follow him with his career change that ultimately means I cannot work anymore.  Or at least, cannot have a career.

XXanonymousXX
by Silver Member on Jun. 3, 2014 at 8:20 PM
Not much.

DH and I share finances and I would continue until the end when we split it all down the middle. Any of "my" money presently going to SD is in the pot because I want it to be. And any expensive tequila I purchase from the shared funds is mine to drink, so I'm fine with it.

I would continue my close relationship with SD in the hopes that we would remain friends. If not DH and I have a deal that I will back away slowly, on her terms. I would continue my non-existent relationship with BM.

I trust DH to not screw me as far as money and the house goes. It's just not in his nature. I would probably ask him to teach me some of his mechanical jobs around the house though and I'd try to teach him how to cook SD's favorite things.

Oh, and a custody agreement for the dog would need to be ironed out before anyone goes anywhere.

WickedPissah
by Cup Cakes on Jun. 3, 2014 at 8:30 PM
I wouldn't of done anything differently.
chanizen
by Platinum Member on Jun. 3, 2014 at 9:03 PM
I would make the same choices :)
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Jun. 3, 2014 at 10:03 PM

DH and I don't have a will.  I would fix that.  And perhaps clarify formally some financial stuff.  

I would prepare my DDs for it.

CrunchMaMaBear
by Queen Crunch on Jun. 3, 2014 at 10:16 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't waste my time on what ifs. Life is full of twists and turns. I don't believe dh and I will ever divorce so I don't think I'd change anything
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