A few years ago I met my fiancé we hit it off really good and had allot in common and had just came out of similar situations I have two kids as does he around the same age. One of the things I loved about him most was the way he was with my boys especially after how there dad went from good to okay to bad to worse and then gone in the matter of two years. We moved in together and at the time of us moving in together I had only met his kids one time the reason for that is his BM walked out on them to say the least and him being a single dad trying to work all those hrs and be a mom to got really hard so his mom offered to keep them until everything was good and stable and she lived about 8 hrs away so when we got this house His son finally came to live with us I was really excited we all were but not even days into it he started to treat his son different than mine, it wasn't major major like being intentionally mean or something but for example we together had set rules, boundaries and expectations for my children we had been together they called him dad and they were so young and loved him so much and he was so good to them I thought ok sounds good let's parent them together I was really happy for them to have a male figure in there life, but when his son arrived like I said within days it went from all of us being happy all the boys under the same rules to my son gets away with murder and yours don't and I'll notice everything wrong yours do and I'll put a blind eye to everything bad my son does and I'll point out everything wrong your kids do only to make mine look good, now of course he did not say that but that's exactly as it seemed now I see why he would have to try and make his son look good at the time he was an evil princess in a boys body. Didn't listen, spoiled a bully very needy and then some but that being said I took the little boy in as my own and it wasn't his fault the way he acted so here I am busting my butt raising these kids going to school just trying to be this super star mom for these children and be I was in love with this man and he is acting like this towards my children and he was still loving with them and kind so I thought to myself maybe he is just trying to show his son he is loved but in a wrong way or maybe he didn't want his son to feel replaced I thought of so many things like maybe that's all he knew bc his childhood was that way or maybe he wanted his son to have way better but to me his acts where ignorant and stupid but things did get way better and I got an apology not the one I feel I deserved but I got one and he explained a few things but even still I didn't feel like it was enough so I got really close to leaving like had a moving company and everything set up but I felt horrible bc things where going really good and I felt like after so long I would drag the guy my kids know as dad from them and his little boy that calls me mom would be so sad so I stayed and we have lived life had ups and downs but all of us still happy and equals in this house for the most part I mean I know he will always have a special place in his heart for his own child but everything has been good. We got his daughter and I feel that already she is getting away with more things and that he is giving excuses for her actions and getting this obsessive attitude of perfection almost like he wants me to do all these extra things for his kids but not think about the way I may feel or how much I have to do around the house or that I'm starting school or have our nine month old to take care of not to mention all of the kids and idk it's frustrating bc A. I already feel like I do enough B. I'm exhausted as it is C. I'm not there biological mother yet they call me mom have sense they were little and I have every responsibility as there mother but nobody has the nerve to take his biological mother to court or anything so idk I feel like wow you want me to be your bitch and be perfect for your kids but I don't have any rights to them and there biological mother gets to come in once in a blue moon when she isn't "chasing her goals" and partying you want me to give up everything so you can pretty much show me you could care less about me but have me here for your kids... Sense he works hard for us and is good to all of us I feel crappy saying that but that's how I feel and that's how I felt before it's like he is saying the same stuff he said when his son came down and to be honest I love him I love our family but idk what to do bc I can't see myself living without him but I can't see myself living like that ever again bc I still resent him for the first time. I do believe I deserve more than what I'm getting the past few days but it's also to soon to think this is how it's going to be I guess or is it? This is only the short version of everything believe it or not. Does anyone deal with things like this or just me?
on Jun. 4, 2014 at 11:41 PM