I have 2 sd's- 8 and 9. Unfortunanty the 9 yr old is getting unbearable to deal with. She is constantly vying for dh's attention and literally separating us (she actually put her hand between us the other day and said move away from my daddy). She is disrespectful, rude, mean to our ds (my son with dh and her half brother) when we are not looking, and she has started lying about everything! I have bent over backwards to make sure they have their own daddy-daughter time, make sure she always sits by him, just generally makng her happy. We spend more on her than the other children because she just seems to like more expensive things and my dh can't resist. The girls live with us majority of the time and their mom has visitation and pays chid support. Since she took us to court and lost it seems like when the 9 yr old returns from visitations she is at her worst. Now, I will say- she is dh fav. Always has been. I get that, but she gets away with a lot that the other kids don't. I am fearful that we might not make this marriage work because everytime I talk to dh about it he will "talk" to her and then her behavior only improves for a short time. I don't want to walk away, but I almost feel like I have no choice. I have concidered therapy, but broke :( I just take it one day at a time and breathe a sigh of relief when its "mom's weekend". I honestly love her to death and love my dh even more, but the issues are too hard to deal with and/or ignore. Any advice on how I can cope? Or is this an instance where I may need to step away? BTW- I was a stepchild and now a step mother so I know exactly how I would want to be treated by my stepmother and do so. I just want a nice, blended family! Thanks for letting me vent!
So you all have read my post and I really appreciate the advice and support. I talked to dh and he says he will try "again" to stop, however, the youngest sd was sick, but his "favorite" slept in. I can't tell you how many times he went to check on the well kid to make sure she was ok vs the sick kid! Then when she finally got out of bed I heard her name over and over till I was sick of it (he was talking to her). Well I decided I will start hanging back and letting them have even more time together and making sure that my kids with him have enough undivided attention from me. I will do the normal stuff like cook and clean for the family, but if she needs something in particular she will need to have her parents do for her. I do have one good note- the youngest sd was chosen for extra testing to see if she will be placed in gifted classes! S proud of her!!! DH's fave was upset that her sister is testing. I didn't say anything, but let dh fumble through his explanation. I finally had to step in and say you are smart, very smart, but your sister may be a little more exceptional- as the term is used in school, so she will test. I hate to say it but that felt good to say. Shame on me.