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Different parenting styles?

Posted by on Jun. 8, 2014 at 3:50 PM
  • 61 Replies
Did you marry someone who parents differently than you? Has different behavior standards than you do? Was it ok then but not now? If you don't like the differences then why not change YOUR OWN parenting?

by on Jun. 8, 2014 at 3:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 4:03 PM

I think overall DH and I have very similar parenting styles. I am more strict than him, he's more willing to sit down and discuss issues with the kids and I'm more likely to give the, "because I said so!" reason.

I think over the years we've both changed our parenting styles a bit to kinda meet in the middle. I've become less strict about some things, and he's become more strict about others.

DH and I are more of a team than two seperate parents parenting. That's probably because all of my children are his. If we had both come into the relationship with kids it might be different.

CFSTBSM27
by on Jun. 8, 2014 at 4:05 PM
Are you referring to bio moms only or does this include childfree SMs in regards to SKs as well?
GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 4:11 PM
Moms already. Hard to have a parenting style when you aren't a parent isn't it?

Quoting CFSTBSM27: Are you referring to bio moms only or does this include childfree SMs in regards to SKs as well?
Silent_Sea
by Gold Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 4:13 PM
We share similar styles and came from similar family values. Makes it easy. I respect my DH as a person and he's a good father/leader in our family.
GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 4:16 PM
2 moms liked this
See, you guys were already similar. You didn't marry someone who was opposite in ideals. You melded together over time. That's totally different than forcing.

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

I think overall DH and I have very similar parenting styles. I am more strict than him, he's more willing to sit down and discuss issues with the kids and I'm more likely to give the, "because I said so!" reason.

I think over the years we've both changed our parenting styles a bit to kinda meet in the middle. I've become less strict about some things, and he's become more strict about others.

DH and I are more of a team than two seperate parents parenting. That's probably because all of my children are his. If we had both come into the relationship with kids it might be different.

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 4:18 PM
I dint think it's hard. I had a parenting style before I married XH and didn't/haven't wavered in it. I knew years ago (long before having kids) how I would parent my kids eventually what i would and wouldn't accept from my kids, etc. I sought a partner who shared those feelings. XH said he did but didn't mean it. I still haven't changed. He knows that. So do my boys.

SO and I don't parent exactly the same but similarly. One reason (of many) we haven't brought our kids into this is these differences. We're both strong parents and it may just be better for us to date until our kids are grown.... or at least until our youngest are older teens. Time will tell.

Quoting GlockMom: Moms already. Hard to have a parenting style when you aren't a parent isn't it?

Quoting CFSTBSM27: Are you referring to bio moms only or does this include childfree SMs in regards to SKs as well?
GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 4:19 PM
Edit. You can have ideals about how you want to parent. Why would you pick a partner who was opposite to what you WANT in a partner? Not saying you did. But if his kids are hellions then why pick him to father yours? Why pick him and his kids to be a family with you and your kids if all the kids behaviors are so different? Again, I'm not saying YOU. It's just a general you.

Quoting GlockMom: Moms already. Hard to have a parenting style when you aren't a parent isn't it?

Quoting CFSTBSM27: Are you referring to bio moms only or does this include childfree SMs in regards to SKs as well?
CFSTBSM27
by on Jun. 8, 2014 at 4:20 PM
2 moms liked this
was the last statement some form of sarcasm? There are childfree custodial stepmothers without involved BMs..

Quoting GlockMom: Moms already. Hard to have a parenting style when you aren't a parent isn't it?

Quoting CFSTBSM27: Are you referring to bio moms only or does this include childfree SMs in regards to SKs as well?
GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 4:24 PM
I wasn't being sarcastic. It's an honest question. I thought I knew how I wanted to parent before I had kids. Reality is totally different than what I thought as a single, childless woman.

Quoting CFSTBSM27: was the last statement some form of sarcasm? There are childfree custodial stepmothers without involved BMs..

Quoting GlockMom: Moms already. Hard to have a parenting style when you aren't a parent isn't it?
Quoting CFSTBSM27: Are you referring to bio moms only or does this include childfree SMs in regards to SKs as well?
thecircus8
by Silver Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 4:33 PM
DH and I are a good balance. I am more strict, he's less so.

We Def have areas that are hills for us, but in general we meet in the middle. A clean and tidy house is a must for me, I cannot function with out it. DH can but understands it's neccessary for me and totally has my back on it.

I have no idea how to make a marriage work-speaking as a CSM-when there are two different parenting styles. As a NCSM, I can see it working for others though.
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