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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Who is the head of the household?

Posted by on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:05 PM
  • 69 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Who takes the lead at home? or who runs the household?

Options:

Mostly the female adult

Mostly the male adult

It is even

Other


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 73

View Results

I just saw a post where a Mom was moving into future stepdad's house and the advice of SF to follow Mom's lead was given and I thought, that is how it usually works but for a step situation I guess that is where SM gets in problems.

Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

by on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:14 PM

DH and I run our household 50/50. Neither of us make major decisions without consulting with the other (unless it's an emergency, then whomever is there will make decisions).

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:16 PM

Who is usually there?

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

DH and I run our household 50/50. Neither of us make major decisions without consulting with the other (unless it's an emergency, then whomever is there will make decisions).


Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:22 PM
For financial purposes, I am. I am the sole breadwinner.

As far as decision making or anything else, we are equals.
codysara
by Bronze Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:45 PM
I definitely am. He prefers it this way. He did a wonderful job when he was a single dad, and is perfectly capable. But these are the roles we agreed upon together prior to living together.
sara82lee
by Bronze Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:51 PM
So far all of the mamas here want/have either half of the control or all of it :(
jules2boys
by Gold Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:57 PM
1 mom liked this

I was when I was married to XH (financially and otherwise), he didn't want the role.  I am now that I'm single.  it would really depend if I married again, but I'd like it to be even, 50/50 for running the household.  But I think that also can be determined by what falls under the 'household'.  My kids?  I'm in charge of 100% of the time.  Do we need to replace the dishwasher or get new carpets?  That's a 'household' decision and one that should be even/equally discussed/agreed upon. 

Heaven127
by on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:58 PM
6 moms liked this

Hubby is the head of the house... I am the heart of the home.

Anything with 2 heads is a mutant.

cdrainey3
by Cher on Jun. 18, 2014 at 7:00 PM
My dh is and I prefer it that way. Of course we always consult each other and try making decisions together. Usually if we can't agree on something I let him make the final decision. For instance our living situation is going to change and I did not want that change. My dh did though and pretty much told me this is what we are doing and to please just trust him. I'm coming around and am starting to get excited, so I'm glad he took the lead. He's very respectful to me and usually gives me everything I want. He's also the bread winner. Which is what I always wanted.

If a man is marrying a woman with children then he should just kind of follow her lead as far as the children are concerned.
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 7:07 PM
When it comes to my kid, I run the show. Doesn't matter who's home we are in. When it comes to our mutual child - we are usually in agreement on everything and if not, we discuss until we come to a compromise or agree. Neither trump the other.

In terms of finances, I'm pretty much in control because my husband prefers it that way. I'm in accounting - it's my life and I do a good job of balancing our family budget. But I do encourage him to sit with me and work together. It's just not his thing. Even though I do wish for more effort on his part.

Everything else is pretty equal. Other than my daughter - I can't think of one thing that either of us trump the other. We are a good team and we work well together. But he knows my daughter is my territory.
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Annawest
by Bronze Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 7:09 PM
3 moms liked this

I'm not married currently.  My ideal is that my future DH will be head of the household.  I have very traditional views of man/woman duties.  But I will "run" the household.  I will keep schedules, make sure everyone has what they need etc.  I believe the "head of the household" and who "runs the household" are two very different things.

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