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New Step MOM

Posted by on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:07 PM
  • 105 Replies

okay ladies I just got married about 2/3 months ago, My husband has a 4 year old going on 5. He did not have 50/50 untill we got married because he works long hours and every other weekend he is " On Call" his sons mother & him arent going through the courts for any of this .. When we got married because he had extra help shes like " well we could try 50/50". I am a new mother myself to a little boy he is 6 months old so I am just getting the hang of being a parent myself. Well even when my husband gets his son he is never around is seems like because of work.. We usually get brayden { my husband son} saturday...sunday....monday..tuesday....  if my husband is on call hes on call ALL WEEKEND he can get called out when ever and it doesnt matter the time. well brayden most the time does not listen to me and he knows he is not because after he does something he will look at me and say "dont tell my daddy" well him not listening is very overwhelming and just wrong. Its not that he has not been taught how to act or listen because he has! he just chooses not to listen to me. Well I told my husband I need a break that him not listening and then telling me " he doesnt like me" just isnt cutting it right now.. I told my husband I would try it out just for him but as of right now he can only get him when he will be home and be around to actually spend time with brayden.  Brayden does not come over to spend time with me but with his father and he has even told me this! I felt like I had the right to tell my husband how I feel and that I am just overhwhlemed. Yes I knew when i marred him i would gain another child but I guess I didnt think we were gonna to get 50/50 and that I was going to be watching him 24/7. Was I wrong for saying not to get him unless my husband was actually going to be around to spend time with him???

be honest.... nothng will hurt my feelings.... 

by on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:09 PM
3 moms liked this

If Dad's not home,then he should be with mom.

And if he's not going to follow the rules,then Dad needs to discipline him. but realize he's barely 5-they're gonna pull some stunts!

Boobear110
by Audra on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:09 PM
1 mom liked this

No you are not wrong. 

ramita
by Silver Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:10 PM
No it's not wrong for you to say that. You are overwhelmed and understandably so, your DH needs to get to the bottom of the behavior and fix it now before it causes more problems. I wish you luck and hopefully between your DH and the BM the issue can be figured out.
LucasMommie1215
by Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I told my husband that me being "new" that its probably just as hard on brayden as it is on me... I mean I wouldnt want some new women telling me what to do.. & everytime my husband would come he would discpline him... but still nothing different

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 6:43 PM
1 mom liked this

 nope. i would not have been open to getting 50/50 so i could do all the work of raising a toddler. hell, i coudl barely stand my own toddlers so i was DEFINITELY not interested in a lot of contact w someone elses if i was going to be responsible for him.

tell him this isnt working for you.

that asid, the behavior is pretty normal, they test boundaries at that age. if you WERE ok with keeping him for your DH, id make sure he was on board with you disciplining him when he acted a fool.

ETA you are new. DH should be in charge of discipline. this istuation is too new for you to be in charge of this kid.

 
        
         

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 7:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Is your 6mo your DHs child too?  How long have you been in the childs life prior to marriage? 

You're right, this is all too much, too soon, for ALL of you. You aren't/weren't wrong to tell your DH no to 50/50, nor to tell him he can have his child whenever he WILL be around.   You were only 'wrong' to let BF and BM do this to you so soon in your marriage. 

XXanonymousXX
by Bronze Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 7:49 PM
Why not take him a few weeknights to start off with for now? DH isn't on call during the week, if I understand correctly. That would give you and SS time to get used to each other with DH around and as things progress you can always take more time. I think it's unfair for DH to expect you and SS to jump into things feet first.
sophiesister2
by Bronze Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 7:54 PM
You should tell his dad when he does whatever it is wrong. And no i think you have every right to feel the way you do. Welcome to the group
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 8:55 PM
4 moms liked this

50/50 is not appropriate in your case because your husband is not available to take care of his kids. I'd drop it down to EOWE maybe. Just when your husband is home. What is the point of his son being there if he is not home?

I suspect you are being used for free child care.

LucasMommie1215
by Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:12 PM


Quoting whatIknownow:

50/50 is not appropriate in your case because your husband is not available to take care of his kids. I'd drop it down to EOWE maybe. Just when your husband is home. What is the point of his son being there if he is not home?

I suspect you are being used for free child care.

 he had EOWE before we were married. It was put to 50/50 because he had "help"..

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