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Just can't get over being jealous

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 9:26 PM
  • 23 Replies
Hey. I have been married to my husband for 2 years and I have a stepdaughter that is 8. We have moments where we get along, but most of the time it is very rough. I am very jealous when she is around and can't seem to find a good way to deal. Her mother is not around and I have tried to move on from the jealousy. My husband and I have twins that are almost 2 and sometime I feel tht he is harder on them than he is his 8 year old. There are so many issues I feel like I am alone in this...I want her to respect me and he just lets things she says to me continue. Any advice would be helpful. Am I alone in feeling jealous? Please help!
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 9:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KnowItAll
by Silver Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 9:28 PM

How old are you?  Maturity plays a big role in feelings of jealousy.

Happily Married | BM to DD14  DD14  DD13 | Mom to DS8 & DS5 | CP | Not a SM

Lilfranks
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 9:33 PM
1 mom liked this
You should not feel jealous of an 8 year old. I think that there may be other issues. Are you mad that you are your husbands second wife or is it that she's not yours so you don't want her around and you feel that your husband should only pay attention to your twins. I'm not sure you should have married a man with kids if you are jealous of his kids
ABandy
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 9:38 PM
I am in my 30s
ABandy
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 9:40 PM
I am not the second wife. I am bothered by the fact that he treats her like a baby and expects more from our 2 year olds. It didn't start out with jealousy but has grown into that over time.
macbudsmom
by Silver Member on Jun. 30, 2014 at 9:02 AM
WhAt exactly are you jealous of?
venessaw04
by Bronze Member on Jun. 30, 2014 at 9:11 AM
I dont understand being jealous of a child. What happened with bm? Are your twims boys?
oldproatthis
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2014 at 9:38 AM

More details...how does he "baby" the 8 year old and expect "more" out of 2 year olds...

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jun. 30, 2014 at 10:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Identify specifically when you feel jealousy, have you talked to your husband about your feelings? Have you had any family counselling?

I can't see to your case specifically but remember your SD doesn't have her mommy around while your children have both theirs at home, this could account for his leniency at times with her.


Quoting ABandy: I am not the second wife. I am bothered by the fact that he treats her like a baby and expects more from our 2 year olds. It didn't start out with jealousy but has grown into that over time.
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sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jun. 30, 2014 at 10:10 AM

Why is her mom not around?

This could be a reason why you think he treats her like a baby...but how does he treat her like a baby?

Point is, you can't treat an 8 year old the same way you treat kids that are 2.  Do you think your view on his treatment of the kids is a little skewed by your jealousy?

Quoting ABandy: I am not the second wife. I am bothered by the fact that he treats her like a baby and expects more from our 2 year olds. It didn't start out with jealousy but has grown into that over time.


ABandy
by on Jun. 30, 2014 at 11:54 AM
1 mom liked this
He allows her to throw herself down on the floor and kick and scream. He has no expectations about how she should act in public or when we have visitors, but expects our 2 year olds to behave. If they scream or yell or act disrespectful he steps in to say something, but if she says or does anything disrespectful he usually says nothing. Our twins are a boy and girl. My parents and other adults have noticed how he treats her differently so it is not my jealousy that skews it. I try to explain my feelings to my husband and he doesn't understand. We are in counseling but he refuses to admit there is a problem. My SD has no respect for anyone but he doesn't admit there is a problem. Her mother left when she was 2 and she has not had any contact with her.
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