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STOP TAKING CREDIT

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2014 at 12:24 AM
  • 56 Replies

I am pissed.

I know I can't stay pissed because it's not healthy.

However.

Every time we spend a lot of money on the kids for something like a gift, it seems like BM finds a way to take credit when she's done exactly nothing.  The Wii.  the PS3, the guitar, the flute, the "whatever the big gift is that we pay for".... Mom signs her name and it just goes on and on.  We buy something, she takes credit.

This week...we bought a car for SD16.  We handed it off to BM and she was going to deliver as she has sent the kids to live with her mother for the summer 6 hours away and my DH had to leave the country again today.  Guess what? She decided to write on the windows ":Love, Mom, Dad and Birdseed"  Um...no.  We paid for it. NOT "love Mom."  No. MOm didn't do shit on this.

Please help me.  I am so bothered by this.  WE paid for it.  WE are the ones who looked at like 40 cars in a week.  We got up early we stayed up late and drove miles and miles for the last week. We made tons of phone calls.  We drove all over hell and back trying to find THE CAR for SD16. 

And BM got to deliver it and take "credit" once again.

It makes me angry and I know I need to get over it.  So please...help me get over it.  Because that is money I'd sure like to spend on other things...and if I can't, it sure would be at least nice to get a little credit.  I got a text copy to Mom thanking Mom.  MOM DID NOT PAY FOR IT.  WE DID.

No thanks to us. 

I know this is My problem. But it really pisses me off.


by on Jul. 3, 2014 at 12:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
bestefforts
by Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 12:41 AM
2 moms liked this
I can certainly understand your feelings. Is there any way you and DH can deliver these things directly to the kids more often? It sounds like the logistics are tough sometimes, but maybe you could keep the glory for yourselves sometimes.

Also, why can't you communicate directly when gifts are on the way. A simple text to kid about you and DH buying car and sending it via BM could at least let them know how these things are being procured.

In the end, though, they are going to ignite it out. Just grin and bare it :)
Silent_Sea
by Gold Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 12:58 AM

 Oh. I am not the best one to help you here. I have known a few people like this in my life.  This is the one time I would probably roll my eyes, glare and look at the for taking credit when they didn't earn it. 

 

OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 1:09 AM
Doesn't sd know that you and DH did all of the leg work and paid for it? Sd knows, but I'm not sure if it really registers with her anyway. She is 16, she now has a car, that is probably all she's thinking.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 1:59 AM
1 mom liked this
You have a right to be mad. I've got nothing else for ya though. Except - I'm sorry.
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 2:01 AM
I like the idea of - dad and I are sending the car we bought for you to BM so she can deliver it since we aren't able to make the drive up. we hope you like it! Let us know! We are anxious to hear.

I know a bit late since the car has been delivered but at least for next time.


Quoting bestefforts: I can certainly understand your feelings. Is there any way you and DH can deliver these things directly to the kids more often? It sounds like the logistics are tough sometimes, but maybe you could keep the glory for yourselves sometimes.

Also, why can't you communicate directly when gifts are on the way. A simple text to kid about you and DH buying car and sending it via BM could at least let them know how these things are being procured.

In the end, though, they are going to ignite it out. Just grin and bare it :)
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 2:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Side note: is it sad I feel this way in general? I am raising my child pretty much full time except the occasional eowe and of course the summer visit when dad isn't even participating in that. And I just feel annoyed when he gets to brag about my daughters accomplishments. I know I know. He's her father but sometimes I feel a bit irked when he gets to take credit just for being her dad when he has had minimal to do with getting her to whatever accomplishment she has.
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Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 2:52 AM
Are you surprised?

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 6:40 AM
2 moms liked this
Try to take pleasure in the fact that she really enjoys the gift but why not ensure that in the future you do the delivery yourself on behalf of you and your husband?

I would ensure she knows I got her the gift in response to the text but I am a bitch like that.
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baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 6:47 AM

Few questions: didnt mom put some money on her end into it?

Did you guys end up giving the money to BM but tell SD what you were putting into it?

How do you know she wrote "love mom" on it? what medium did that happen again?

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 7:05 AM

I would be angry too. I don't know what you can do about it. Maybe (if I was you), I'd find a way to work it into the conversation that mom didn't pay for it or shop for it. Because I'm a bitch like that. But, you're probably not (which is a good thing). So I don't know. I have no advice other than go ahead and be a bitch. Which is really crappy advice, so don't follow it.

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