Thank you all for your encouraging posts about my dilemma with my step-sons girlfriend. I need to not worry so much about it, I guess.
But, let me ask you about another issue with the bio-mom. Here's some background:
I met my hubby about a year after his wife kicked him to the curb for the neighbors husband. We got married a year later, that was 9 years ago. All our children were teenagers (ranging from 14-18) when we met, my boys are the oldest. Bio-mom is very territorial and has made it very difficult for us to have decent relationships with their kids. We actually had a huge custody battle of his youngest (the only girl) when she was 16. It was very ugly, she has not spoken to her father in over 4 years and threatened a restraining order because he sent her a get well card.
So, here's what's really bugging me. My granddaughter is a year old, lives local and is regularly at the library where hubby's ex works. The ex gushes over my granddaughter and my sons girlfriend, but we're almost positive she doesn't realize who they are - girlfriend has a different last name and my granddaughter doesn't have a library card yet. Sometimes I would just love to go to the library with them just to show her how much of a hypocrite she is, but then she'd most likely start being rude to them when they visited, and I have no reason to be that spiteful. One day the ex will realize who it is, but I want to hold that day off as long as possible.
My step-son doesn't consider either of my grandchildren his neice or nephew because they think only blood counts. His girlfriend on the other hand thinks everyone is family regardless (that's one reason why I like her so much!) and will eventually have a pic of one of the kids that the ex will see. When that happens, I'm sure my granddaughter and my sons girlfriend will get the cold shoulder.
So, why do people act like this? I just don't understand. I mean, it would be totally different if I was the reason the marriage broke up - I mean I could kinda understand that. Or even if he had left her for whatever reason. I wasn't raised like that and it makes no sense to me.