I wasn't sure if any other Step Moms had a similar situation to mine. My husband has primary custody of his daughter and has for 4 years since she was 3. Since we got married and lived together for the last 3 years I am her only "mother" figure. Her BM lives 20 hours away. She chose to leave my SD and hubby. I never met her or knew my hubby when they were together.
BM only sees my SD every other Christmas and 6 weeks every summer. When she flies into our city we let her see SD when she can. We let her come to dinner or take our SD to her parents house to play or even sleepover. According to the divorce decree BM has no rights to see her other than X-Mas and summer. By no means do we keep BM away when she wants to come into town for a visit.
Are there any other Step Moms in a similar situation? Where you and SO have custoday and BM lives very far away?