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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Custodial Step Mom, am I alone?

Posted by on Jul. 7, 2014 at 12:41 PM
  • 76 Replies

I wasn't sure if any other Step Moms had a similar situation to mine.  My husband has primary custody of his daughter and has for 4 years since she was 3.  Since we got married and lived together for the last 3 years I am her only "mother" figure.  Her BM lives 20 hours away.  She chose to leave my SD and hubby.  I never met her or knew my hubby when they were together.  

BM only sees my SD every other Christmas and 6 weeks every summer.  When she flies into our city we let her see SD when she can.  We let her come to dinner or take our SD to her parents house to play or even sleepover.  According to the divorce decree BM has no rights to see her other than X-Mas and summer.  By no means do we keep BM away when she wants to come into town for a visit.  

Are there any other Step Moms in a similar situation?  Where you and SO have custoday and BM lives very far away?

Thanks

by on Jul. 7, 2014 at 12:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Kat31
by Member on Jul. 7, 2014 at 12:45 PM
Nope. I'm a CSM but BM lives in the same town. Bump.
Leigh84
by Gold Member on Jul. 7, 2014 at 12:47 PM
Nope, there's a lot of CSM's on here.
Krlachan
by Member on Jul. 7, 2014 at 12:56 PM

Does the BM live over 20 hours away?

Quoting Leigh84: Nope, there's a lot of CSM's on here.


amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Jul. 7, 2014 at 1:10 PM
Does that really matter?

Quoting Krlachan:

Does the BM live over 20 hours away?

Quoting Leigh84: Nope, there's a lot of CSM's on here.

Krlachan
by Member on Jul. 7, 2014 at 1:12 PM

I want to know if anyone else is in my situation so yes.  Most of the times SKs see the parents every other weekend or monthly.  Clearly you are not in my situation

Quoting amantonacci: Does that really matter?
Quoting Krlachan:

Does the BM live over 20 hours away?

Quoting Leigh84: Nope, there's a lot of CSM's on here.



mrsd2013
by Silver Member on Jul. 7, 2014 at 1:12 PM
1 mom liked this

 I'm CSM.  ds10 and ss5.  Bm gets supervised visitation 4 days a month.  Every situation is different but you are not alone. 

Krlachan
by Member on Jul. 7, 2014 at 1:13 PM

I want to know if anyone else is in my situation so yes.  Most of the times SKs see the parents every other weekend or monthly.  Clearly you are not in my situation

Quoting amantonacci: Does that really matter?
Quoting Krlachan:

Does the BM live over 20 hours away?

Quoting Leigh84: Nope, there's a lot of CSM's on here.



mrsd2013
by Silver Member on Jul. 7, 2014 at 1:15 PM
4 moms liked this

that wasn't very nice.  amanton was trying to be helpful and communicate with you.  every situation is a little different... there may be no one that is in your exact situation.. as i suspect you have not experienced things that I have but we can all help each other.

Quoting Krlachan:

I want to know if anyone else is in my situation so yes.  Most of the times SKs see the parents every other weekend or monthly.  Clearly you are not in my situation

Quoting amantonacci: Does that really matter?
Quoting Krlachan:

Does the BM live over 20 hours away?

Quoting Leigh84: Nope, there's a lot of CSM's on here.

 

 

 

OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Jul. 7, 2014 at 1:16 PM

I'm a CSM, BM lives at least 20 hours away, I'm not sure how long a drive would take.  BM only sees the SKs 1 wk a year per CO.  She is allowed to see them if she visits our state but she almost never does.  BM does speak to the SKs on the phone regularly and my SKs think she is the best mom ever. 

I've been in their lives for 8 years now, 5 of which we were all living together.  SKs are 13 and almost 15.

amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Jul. 7, 2014 at 1:16 PM
2 moms liked this
Nope I'm not but I do have a child I am the sole parent too... Many people here may have similar experiences in different situations

Quoting Krlachan:

I want to know if anyone else is in my situation so yes.  Most of the times SKs see the parents every other weekend or monthly.  Clearly you are not in my situation

Quoting amantonacci: Does that really matter?

Quoting Krlachan:

Does the BM live over 20 hours away?

Quoting Leigh84: Nope, there's a lot of CSM's on here.

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