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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

My hell is finally over!!!!

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2014 at 12:05 PM
  • 70 Replies
1 mom liked this
Earlier this week 17 yo SS had to be removed from my home by law enforcement after he threatened to "go off" on me if I said anything to him about following basic rules in our home. 18 yo SS left a few months ago after DH and I insisted he get a job b/c sitting around on his ass all day on social media was not acceptable!

The back story... Been w/DH for 8 yrs now...knew he was CP so I've had these boys since ages of 9/10 yrs old. I have 4 adult kids I raised as single mom. All 4 are accomplished/successful...college educated...gainfully employed...married/in stable relationships etc. Wasn't my first rodeo and felt my parenting skills were decent all things considered ...knew there would be struggles... But hey my intentions were good...I love kids...so ya! I can do this! Researched step parenting ...joined support groups... Boy was I dumb and naive!!!

I did EVERYTHING for these boys...but little did I know I was being undermined by psycho BM and her psycho family from day one!! Who BTW couldn't be bothered to do anything for her kids except reinforce in their minds that they didn't have to listen to me b/c I'm not their mom (true...I get that...but am DH's wife and you live in MY home) and that I was reason she and dad aren't together as big happy fam! Now mind you they were divorced over 4 yrs before I ever came into picture!!

There's so much more to this story...it would take a book to explain it all!! But suffice it to say I was doomed to fail from day one!! I've been reading posts about how some of you other SM's see some of us as "awful" b/c we couldn't/can't make our families work...and to that I say this...

Pls save your sanctimonious BS for each other!! I'm truly happy that your situations are all skittles, rainbows and unicorns that fart fairy dust!! Each situation is unique and there are SO many of us that have given 1000% but it will never be good enough b/c outside influences were conspiring against us from day one!!

My marriage was damn near ruined ...my personal safety jeopardized...ya this kid 6'2 325lbs...I'm 5'3 135lbs on a good day...he told me he thought about killing me!!

So now they are both gone and never allowed back!! My DH and I can start to put our marriage back together and I can live in peace!

I never used to feel this way about skids...but now my new motto is ...
"No longer my circus...no longer my monkeys!!!!!"
by on Jul. 12, 2014 at 12:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 12:09 PM
9 moms liked this
I'm sorry your husband wasn't a better father.
Cat1014
by on Jul. 12, 2014 at 12:13 PM
Oh boy me too!!
STEPMOMDD
by Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 12:27 PM
2 moms liked this
What did dad do to support you when mom was poisoning their minds. 10 yrs is a long time.
Cat1014
by on Jul. 12, 2014 at 12:31 PM
To be perfectly honest we weren't completely aware until about two yrs ago...she always said to our face how great I was...when boys started acting out and we sought counseling it stared coming out. Thought I was nuts and living in a bad lifetime movie!

Quoting STEPMOMDD: What did dad do to support you when mom was poisoning their minds. 10 yrs is a long time.
Cat1014
by on Jul. 12, 2014 at 12:37 PM
2 moms liked this
My husband is finally taking responsibility for his culpability in all of this...that's why after much soul searching I've decided to stay...raising kids these days is no easy task!
nurse1997
by Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 12:40 PM
5 moms liked this

Good for you mom some kids are just entitled BRATS !

CrystalSapphire
by Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 12:51 PM
3 moms liked this
The stepsons have had a permissive upbringing and when you and your husband try to put down rules, they resist. (Little children resist rules too, but they're easier to handle.) Their mother sounds immature. So you had teenagers being raised by a teenager. It's good you two were united front, who remained firm. Maybe they'll start growing up. Be prepared for a massive fight with their mother. But it sounds like you can hold your own.
WLA_diva
by Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 12:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry it had to turn out this way....but happy that you are safe.....

MBanks524
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 1:06 PM
1 mom liked this
It's hard being a SM of older kids, so I've been told by my DH. I'm sorry, that should never have been allowed. I'm glad your DH is seeing error of his ways. I do think think the skds will calm down some as they are getting older still. I think they might eventually see what mom did was wrong.good luck
Cat1014
by on Jul. 12, 2014 at 1:13 PM
1 mom liked this
Ya it was a nightmare... When my oldest daughter was 16...we had some issues...she hated me... Not abnormal at all but when she raised her hand to me I made her go live w/her grandparents for a year!! I didn't put up w/stupid shit from bio kids so why anyone would expect me to put up w/it from two brats who DIDNT come out of my damn vajayjay is beyond me!!!!

Quoting WLA_diva:

Sorry it had to turn out this way....but happy that you are safe.....

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