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Situations in which I wish dh would grow a pair...

Posted by on Jul. 15, 2014 at 10:41 AM
  • 59 Replies
Dh is currently not employed but looking for a job. I'm the sole bread winner and paying all the bills ATM other than his child support. We have his kids half the summer so I'm already "supporting" them in a sense.

One of the boys has football practice and to get him there it's $20 in has a day...four times a week. Sort of a strain when money is tight but he wants to play and needs to practice. Instead of dropping him off and going back to pick him up an hour later dh stays for practices.

So today BM texts dh that she needed to get Sd into see a dr and got her in at 10 and could dh bring her to her when he picks up SS from practice. Dh explains he's at the practice and didn't plan on going back home. BM replies he has plenty of time to go and get her is he bringing her? Dh shows up annoyed and gets Sd up to take her and tells me all about it.

My first question is what is the appt for? Sd is not sick and if it's an annual check up why no notice? My second thought is BM pulls crap like this all the time "last min notification" and dh always complies. Why couldn't he say "sorry you will have to reschedule because you have me no notice"?

I suppose the reason I'm rather annoyed this time is because money is so tight. Frustrating!
by on Jul. 15, 2014 at 10:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sara82lee
by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 10:47 AM
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Why would she schedule an appointment on dad's time and not even mention it?

I would have told her that she was with me this week, and as such, if she has medical need, I would take care of it and take her to an appropriate doctor. If she has a medical need that I don't know about, you need to tell me about that as her other parent.

Since I don't know any of these things, she's not going anywhere.
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 10:50 AM

Yeah, that would be frustrating. I suspect he just cannot bother to deal with what BM would give him if he has an issue with that appointment so he is taking the easier path.

MamaBear131716
by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 10:54 AM
1 mom liked this
I have no clue! I swear she gets joy in scheduling things and having dh run around. I told him the same thing. She isn't sick and ds doesn't even know what the appt is for. If she needed to go...well fine but really wait until the day of? She could have at least told dh she was going to try to get her in today so he could drop her off or take her with him. She has no problem doing things like this because she knows dh will do it or she can make hi the bad guy if he doesn't. "So you don't care about your dd? As usual I will take care of it." Smh

Quoting sara82lee: Why would she schedule an appointment on dad's time and not even mention it?

I would have told her that she was with me this week, and as such, if she has medical need, I would take care of it and take her to an appropriate doctor. If she has a medical need that I don't know about, you need to tell me about that as her other parent.

Since I don't know any of these things, she's not going anywhere.
MamaBear131716
by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 10:55 AM
1 mom liked this
Yep he doesn't want the fight. I understand that.

Quoting leegirl_jm:

Yeah, that would be frustrating. I suspect he just cannot bother to deal with what BM would give him if he has an issue with that appointment so he is taking the easier path.

CFSTBSM27
by Silver Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 10:56 AM
1 mom liked this
That would be annoying. I don't know what was so hard about prior notice? Sending a text does not take very long... My husband is very stern with BM about things like that. He doesn't just "comply" just because she snaps her fingers she has her own b^tch boy for that. If she knew the appointment was at the time she should have said something
CFSTBSM27
by Silver Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 10:57 AM
Sometimes people like that need to be checked tho or they will continue to do those things

Quoting MamaBear131716: Yep he doesn't want the fight. I understand that.

Quoting leegirl_jm:

Yeah, that would be frustrating. I suspect he just cannot bother to deal with what BM would give him if he has an issue with that appointment so he is taking the easier path.

tiafez
by Silver Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 10:58 AM

he does it because it's what parents do.  at least that's what me ex used to say when he had to do the hands on parent thing on his time. if money weren't tight would this be an issue? if he were working, she'd be running back and forth and if she said it was too much for her budget to do it, what would he say? I always tried to see all the sides. 

WWNSDD?

MamaBear131716
by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 11:00 AM
I agree!

Quoting CFSTBSM27: Sometimes people like that need to be checked tho or they will continue to do those things

Quoting MamaBear131716: Yep he doesn't want the fight. I understand that.

Quoting leegirl_jm:

Yeah, that would be frustrating. I suspect he just cannot bother to deal with what BM would give him if he has an issue with that appointment so he is taking the easier path.

CFSTBSM27
by Silver Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 11:03 AM
It doesn't have to become a fight. DH can say if you have prior knowledge of appointments and need me to accommodate, let me know ahead of time.. That's not rude or ugly.
Obviously emergencies happen but something that is planned I don't see why one can't gives a heads up?

Quoting MamaBear131716: I agree!

Quoting CFSTBSM27: Sometimes people like that need to be checked tho or they will continue to do those things

Quoting MamaBear131716: Yep he doesn't want the fight. I understand that.

Quoting leegirl_jm:

Yeah, that would be frustrating. I suspect he just cannot bother to deal with what BM would give him if he has an issue with that appointment so he is taking the easier path.

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 15, 2014 at 11:04 AM
Exactly. My husband has been like that for years and we just rolled with it but then I could no longer put up with it.

Quoting CFSTBSM27: Sometimes people like that need to be checked tho or they will continue to do those things

Quoting MamaBear131716: Yep he doesn't want the fight. I understand that.

Quoting leegirl_jm:

Yeah, that would be frustrating. I suspect he just cannot bother to deal with what BM would give him if he has an issue with that appointment so he is taking the easier path.

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