So the last couple of days have been really good. My df was off for 3 days and then worked the same shift (days) friday and now im off for the weekend so we have had more time to spend with the kids doing fun stuff and having family time.
My ds12 and my fiance have a ton in common. They are both very handy, love tools and fixing things and doing projects and stuff. His own ds10 could care less about those things, prefers to spend his time alone on the xbox or tablet or watching tv and pretty much makes every conversation he takes part in turn to Minecraft and youtubers who make Minecraft videos. Weds night we had a bonfire in the firepit and roasted marshmallows and just sat around the fire talking as a family for several hours, everyone except ss10. He refused to come outside and pitched a fit when we tried to convince him too because there might be bugs and the other kids are loud and its boring. Ds12 and my fiance took care of the fire and got into a long conversation about fire and the ins and outs of building a good one.
Thurs we took all the kids for a picnic at a park by the lake. That was fun and this time everyone went and had a good time.
Then last night we all ended up in the garage because my ds12 is planning to build a treehouse and he and my fiance are planning it and my fiance was showing him how to use all the tools and stuff. My daughters and his daughter all hung out with them and talked. His dd8 is planning to help so she was learning too. His ds10 again refused to join because tools and treehouses are boring.
I love seeing my fiance bond with my son this way. His own dad is pretty detached and doesnt do things like this with him at all, never teaches him things and pretty much just yells at him to calm down and be quiet all the time. My df was excited because hes always wanted.to do things like this with his son but his son has no interest whatsoever.
However, when we went to bed my fiance seemed really worried and when I asked him why he said he is afraid he is neglecting his own kids because hes been spending so much time with mine, especially my son. Its a difficult balance. I dont want him to damage his relationship with his kids but I also dont want him to pull away from my son. Im not sure what can be done to keep both his bond with his son and the new bond he is forming with my kids intact. His daughter is a little easier. She always comes with and participates...but you can see she is jealous of my kids sometimes. Especially my youngest daughter 6. She gets very sad looking whenever he cuddles my little one or pays a lot of attention to her.