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Creepiness

Posted by on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:16 PM
  • 56 Replies
So BF, GF and their DS are moving to my and DD's town. He took her to the new house to show it to her during his last dinner visit but told her not to tell me. Of course she did as soon as she got in the car at pick-up. She even memorized the street address unbeknownst to him so she could tell me. I was proud of her for that.

New house is 40+ minutes in opposite direction from both BF's and GF's place of employment. GF also told DD she plans to put their DS in daycare where DD goes although daycare would be additional time/retracing of steps out of their way. His current daycare isn't.

Anyway, not much of anything I can do about it. I was recently denied a second renewal of the OP despite continued violations. BF began doing things like calling, sending emails, etc. almost immediately after. All things still restricted by CO but without the OP it's now just a possible contempt charge vs. a criminal one.

I'm thinking of asking for a restraining order (different from an OP) but it's probably just a waste of time. I just wish I could do something to stop this. It's been years since we were "together", 2+ years since he and GF/SM got together, 1 1/2 years since divorce was final...

ETA- OP= Order for Protection, CO=Court Order, re: custody in this post. There is additional information in subsequent posts to this thread. The original post was kept short for the sake of easier reading.
by on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think that's so creep in normal situations. what's the history that makes it creepy?

sara82lee
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't get what's creepy either.

Except it seems like you're encouraging your dd to spy on dad and report back to you.
kellynh
by Kelly on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:37 PM

Add me to the not understanding this at all!

advomom05
by Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:40 PM
Sorry, I thought I put enough in the OP to explain why it would be creepy. I guess though when it comes down to it, what really matters is that *I* find it creepy, regardless of what others think.

The history is super long, way too long for a message board but some of it includes assaults on me and DD by BF as well as other forms of abuse and stalking and harassment by BF and going to bizarre and far lengths to do so.

The fact that LE and the courts have not taken appropriate action many times over in the past has something to do with it I guess. It probably wouldn't make me feel so threatened if I felt like we would have protection if we needed it

Quoting Polkadotted:

I don't think that's so creep in normal situations. what's the history that makes it creepy?

cdrainey3
by Cher on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:49 PM
How were you assaulted by him? What do you mean when you say he emails and texts you? Isn't that a good way to communicate?
advomom05
by Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:50 PM
It's encouraging my DD to "spy" because I'm proud of her for knowing it's not okay for BF to tell her to keep information like that from me? Interesting. Careful you don't strain yourself reaching so far.

You may have to take off your all BMs are evil/all BFs are saints hat for this one.

Quoting sara82lee: I don't get what's creepy either.

Except it seems like you're encouraging your dd to spy on dad and report back to you.
sara82lee
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:57 PM
1 mom liked this
Say what now?

I don't encourage any kids that live in my house to perform reconnaissance for me. I'm an adult. I'll get that info on my own.

Of course it's not okay for him to do all of the things he did. But I'm not going to put any kid in the middle of that by making them a go - between.

Your dd is young. You have a lot to learn.

Quoting advomom05: It's encouraging my DD to "spy" because I'm proud of her for knowing it's not okay for BF to tell her to keep information like that from me? Interesting. Careful you don't strain yourself reaching so far.

You may have to take off your all BMs are evil/all BFs are saints hat for this one.

Quoting sara82lee: I don't get what's creepy either.

Except it seems like you're encouraging your dd to spy on dad and report back to you.
advomom05
by Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:07 PM
I'm not sure how to answer these. Are you asking for details about the assaults? Or the legal definition of assault in my state? It's in the OP that he is not to call(not text) or send emails by CO and the why is in my first response. Are you trying to be coy?




Quoting cdrainey3: How were you assaulted by him? What do you mean when you say he emails and texts you? Isn't that a good way to communicate?
jules2boys
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:21 PM
OP usually means, on here anyway, original post, original poster, or other parent. I suspect you mean something else but I'm not sure what.

I'm with the other ladies, I'm not understanding what is so creepy about BF moving closer to the child you two share. Yes, it's more important that you find it creepy than if anyone on here does but if you're going to post something, people will likely ask questions. Being defensive about questions seems unreasonable to me.
Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:23 PM

Threatening seems like a better term to me.  It seems like a guy that wants to be closer to his daughter. Unless the contacts are creepy instead of regarding his daughter. 

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