The situation looks like this:
There was a situation at BM's this weekend, the cops were called and SS11 came back home from his visit because the cops would not allow him to stay at his mothers. Dh isn't sure how to consequence SS11 because BM made really bad parenting decisions that lead to SS11 acting the way he did. Of course SS11 shouldn't have done ANYTHING that he did, but BM ALSO shouldn't have done what she did.
(Basically, SS11 is an easily angered child, BM wouldn't allow him time to cool off from an aggravating situation)
DH knows he is not getting the full story from anyone, he also knows that BM will punish SS11 for his behavior, so he (dh) doesn't want to "over punish" his son for a situation that seems like it was equally BM's fault, as it was SS11.
(For those that think this is a bit vague, it is, intentionally, because I don't know if BM is on CM and I don't need some stupid online drama with her)
I usually have some kind of opinion, or suggestion to input, but I'm at a bit of a loss here, I don't really know what can be done, other then what DH is doing, which is, telling his son that how he behaved wasn't okay. The fact that he (dh) had to be called away from his (our) weekend plans to deal with this, isn't okay either, so SS11 is grounded.
I'll give some more details if people ask, but like I said, I'm not being super specific, because I really don't want to deal with the drama :-) IF she's on here, I have no idea one way or the other, haha! :-)