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Respect

Posted by on Jul. 22, 2014 at 11:36 AM
  • 140 Replies

Respect is often used in these discussions. What does respect mean to you in the BM/SM situation? Is it automatically due because you are Mom or because you are wife or must it be earned?

Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

by on Jul. 22, 2014 at 11:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Leigh84
by Gold Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 11:41 AM
6 moms liked this
I feel ppl should give each other some level of respect just out of common courtesy. You know, treat others the same way you would want to be treated. I'm not sure if mom/wife as a lot to do w/it, may be a little?

Sure I respect BM as my sk's mom but even if she wasn't I would respect her just as another person. Make sense?
tiafez
by Silver Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 11:43 AM
1 mom liked this

a little of both. I started out trying to respect those BM bounderies and wisely (I think) let the parents parent. Do I respect her as a person now? nope but you'd never know it by my manner. Now I respect my SS by being pleasant to his MOm and always try to think of his feelings when I'm with him. 

oldproatthis
by Silver Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 11:46 AM
5 moms liked this

 

Quoting leegirl_jm:

Respect is often used in these discussions. What does respect mean to you in the BM/SM situation?It means staying in your "own lane" but that is a different boundary in each situation. One BM/SM duo will have a totally different dynamic and set of boundaries and lanes than another. Is it automatically due because you are Mom or because you are wife or must it be earned? It is automatically due but not because one is wife or mother but because one is human and has intrinsic value...in my mind it can then be lost based on mis or maltreatment of others...basically you usually end up getting as much as you give.

 

SKW86
by Bronze Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 11:53 AM

You don't get respect for your title, you get respect because your human. This was something that ALWAYS stuck with me since Jr high.

I had a Teacher who had it out for me in 7/8th grade. 

We were doing something with string, and The girl i was paired up with, our dad's had been friends since they were in the teenage years. well, i pulled the string out of the girls hand and it gave her a little "rope burn", no big deal,girl didnt go to the nurse. we laughed. the teacher asked kid if she wanted to press charges on me..girl told her she was crazy.

Few days later, teacher called my house, parents were out at dinner. My sister answered the phone, gave me the phone, i was in the bathroom, still gave me the phone, THE TEACHER called my house to talk to ME. I hung up on her. 1 i was using the bathroom 2 she was being rude, and that is MY time. you want to talk to me, talk to me at school.

Well the teacher called my mom the next day during school hours. The teacher said "I'm a 60some year old grandmother, i demand respect" my mother told her "you don't deserve respect because your a grandmother, teacher or 60something years old. You deserve respect for being human, and you calling my daughter during her time after school, she has every right to hang up on you."

So that stuck with me.

MBanks524
by Gold Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 12:12 PM
1 mom liked this
Treat the other person how you yourself expect to be treated. It goes both ways and you don't get it just because of a title
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 12:12 PM
2 moms liked this

I think common courtesy is expected but it seems that that some persons think they are owed respect while thinking that others are not owed the same.

Quoting Leigh84: I feel ppl should give each other some level of respect just out of common courtesy. You know, treat others the same way you would want to be treated. I'm not sure if mom/wife as a lot to do w/it, may be a little? Sure I respect BM as my sk's mom but even if she wasn't I would respect her just as another person. Make sense?


Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

jlg12678
by Gold Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 12:13 PM

Well said.

Quoting oldproatthis:

 

Quoting leegirl_jm:

Respect is often used in these discussions. What does respect mean to you in the BM/SM situation?It means staying in your "own lane" but that is a different boundary in each situation. One BM/SM duo will have a totally different dynamic and set of boundaries and lanes than another. Is it automatically due because you are Mom or because you are wife or must it be earned? It is automatically due but not because one is wife or mother but because one is human and has intrinsic value...in my mind it can then be lost based on mis or maltreatment of others...basically you usually end up getting as much as you give.

 

 

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 12:16 PM
1 mom liked this

Are you asking about feelings or actions?

Respect should be displayed (action) because it's the right thing to do.  Whether it is felt or not is irrelevant. 

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 12:19 PM

It would be what is displayed, simple courtesy, no vulgar name-calling, respecting boundaries.

Quoting Derdriu:

Are you asking about feelings or actions?

Respect should be displayed (action) because it's the right thing to do.  Whether it is felt or not is irrelevant. 


Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

CFSTBSM27
by on Jul. 22, 2014 at 12:21 PM
Character earns you respect not title. We are nice to eachother because of SD that is it. As a person I do not have any respect for BM, she has no redeeming qualities.
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