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SM & her husband's divorce and custody paperwork (ETA)

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:17 PM
  • 112 Replies
Do you think a woman considering marriage to a divorcee with prior children should seek to know her future husband's divorce and custody details before getting married?

Seek includes reading the actual divorce and custody paperwork.
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by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:24 PM
1 mom liked this
She should ask the man she is considering marrying. If she is considering marrying then she should be able to take him at his word. Otherwise, he's not worth marrying. If she finds out he lied - he's not worth staying married to.
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leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:28 PM
Forgive me for asking but how will she know if he is lying if she never sees the paperwork?
Should she trust him and get married and then years later discover that he lied or better to get proof before taking the leap?


Quoting momof2ex1: She should ask the man she is considering marrying. If she is considering marrying then she should be able to take him at his word. Otherwise, he's not worth marrying. If she finds out he lied - he's not worth staying married to.
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:29 PM
And let's not leave out All of the details.

When you say 'seek' that could mean anything. What was discussed in the other post was the right to read his divorce decree. Or the need.

It's a personal document. I have nothing to hide in the document from my husband. He knows what I've told him it says. He doesn't need to read it to make sure I am telling him the truth. He has no interest in reading the details. I gave him the cliff note version while we were dating.

Amicable divorce
One child from the marriage
Joint legal custody
I am the residential parent
I am responsible for health insurance
We have a custody schedule (added details)

Not much else to know.

We owned a home. He kept the home and assumed responsibility.
We had two cars. I kept one he kept one
We had some assets that were split
We had some debt. We each took the debt that was in our names.
My debts are all paid off. His debts have nothing to do with me.
He pays child support.

End of story. Didn't have to whip it out and prove it to him.
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:30 PM
If she's at the point of getting married - I think she's long past the point of trusting. She should already be there. If she's not, she should not consider getting married. She should wait it out and see how things go.

It's not a bad question.


Quoting leegirl_jm: Forgive me for asking but how will she know if he is lying if she never sees the paperwork?
Should she trust him and get married and then years later discover that he lied or better to get proof before taking the leap?


Quoting momof2ex1: She should ask the man she is considering marrying. If she is considering marrying then she should be able to take him at his word. Otherwise, he's not worth marrying. If she finds out he lied - he's not worth staying married to.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:35 PM
I agree, I did the detail checks when we just started dating which is what I would recommend to my children.

Quoting momof2ex1: If she's at the point of getting married - I think she's long past the point of trusting. She should already be there. If she's not, she should not consider getting married. She should wait it out and see how things go.

It's not a bad question.


Quoting leegirl_jm: Forgive me for asking but how will she know if he is lying if she never sees the paperwork?
Should she trust him and get married and then years later discover that he lied or better to get proof before taking the leap?


Quoting momof2ex1: She should ask the man she is considering marrying. If she is considering marrying then she should be able to take him at his word. Otherwise, he's not worth marrying. If she finds out he lied - he's not worth staying married to.
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Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:42 PM
2 moms liked this

I wouldn't marry a man if he didn't tell me.... and probably show me.

Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:44 PM
3 moms liked this

Hmm, tough question. Yes/no/maybe. I think yes, a woman should know what she is getting ready to be in the middle of. (by middle of, I mean the fact that FDH's financial and physical responsibilies can affect the marriage)

thecircus8
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:47 PM
Tilly! Where you been!

Quoting Tillymommie:

Hmm, tough question. Yes/no/maybe. I think yes, a woman should know what she is getting ready to be in the middle of. (by middle of, I mean the fact that FDH's financial and physical responsibilies can affect the marriage)

Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:55 PM

Oh you know, hiding. Taking a chemistry class in 6 weeks, covering 11 chapters. It was brutal. lol

Quoting thecircus8: Tilly! Where you been!
Quoting Tillymommie:

Hmm, tough question. Yes/no/maybe. I think yes, a woman should know what she is getting ready to be in the middle of. (by middle of, I mean the fact that FDH's financial and physical responsibilies can affect the marriage)


thecircus8
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 12:05 AM
Good times... lol. Oh yeah. I saw that..
brain spazzed. Sigh.

I failed my class because of everything that went on this month. :(

I am going to have to quit school I think. For awhile. I just can't handle everything.


Quoting Tillymommie:

Oh you know, hiding. Taking a chemistry class in 6 weeks, covering 11 chapters. It was brutal. lol


Quoting thecircus8: Tilly! Where you been!

Quoting Tillymommie:

Hmm, tough question. Yes/no/maybe. I think yes, a woman should know what she is getting ready to be in the middle of. (by middle of, I mean the fact that FDH's financial and physical responsibilies can affect the marriage)

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