I just have to vent before I explode!
So I will summarize this long story as best I can, but it may be kind of long. In the CO, Dh and Bm have 50/50, with DH being primary. However, in reality, Dh has the kids about 60-75% of the time. I have 2 boys that I brought into the relationship, and I have them 100% of the time.
So, when we got married, I had to move to a different city to be with him. I left my job after we had decided I would be a SAHM for a year to help everyone adjust, finish my schooling and be able to volunteer at the school. All is fine and I finished my schooling a couple weeks ago. I was offered a job in my field 2 months before I graduted. I was very excited and accepted, only working one day a week through the summer, with the agreement to pick up more come back-to-school.
A few things happen (mostly Bm got a new job), and I had to stop working in my dream job after only 3 weeks. Luckily, they understand that it is only a summer time hiatus, but I am still very sad as I watch my fellow students all working while I just sit here all summer. (I worked a few times, but not enough and have subbed a couple times).
So, all that said, I am already a bit irritated because I love to work and was very excited to be offered the job.This is the longest I have ever in my life not worked.
This all leads me up to why I need to vent. Before I say it, I know it may be petty. I just need to get it out of my head so I can move on with my day. Its been bugging me nonstop for the week now.
Last summer, we had the issue of me becoming the "built in babysitter", and its starting again. Dh will say "oh, I forgot, the boys will be here all week. They will be dropped of at 6am every day". If I have any reaction other than excitement, then he gets instantly offended and pissed off, acting like I don't like his kids. Heres the thing. Its not him getting time with the kids, because he is at work all day long. And on the days where they don't stay here all night, and go back to Bms house, she picks them up a few minutes before he gets home, so he doesn't even see them at all.
This kind of deal gives me zero time to rearrange anything I may need to rearrange. It means I can not sub for anyone who may ask me to. It means I may not have prepared to have enough food for a whole week of two extra kids (one is almost 13...they eat ALOT). But most of all, it means that Dh doesn't respect my time enought TO ASK.
Seriously, just freaking ask me. I would say "of course it is fine". But the fact that it is just assumed that I will do it and then TOLD TO me, pisses me off.
I am so very glad Bm has a new job. I am willing to do this to help out. (btw, Bm and I do not have each others phone numbers so she isn't the one I deal with, not because of any conflict, but because my Dh procreated with her, not me, so he can communicate. We are friendly and there are no problems there, so this isn't an issue with her).
So, as a SAHM (at Dh's request), does my time really not count enough to at least ASK me???