So I'm looking for tips on how to help everyone in the family adjust when SS12 returns from spending summer with BM. DH has primary custody of SS so he is with us full-time the entire year except for a month and half during summer and a week over christmas break (due to BM living 2 states away). In our house there is also DD8 who I have 50/50 custody with my Ex (everyother weekend and everyother afternoon during the week). If you're in a similar custody arrangement that we have with SS I'm sure you know how much of an adjustment it is for everyone in the house when you go from having a child all the time, to then they're gone for an extended period and then back. SS12 is usually excited to be back to our house and we are excited to have him back, but our issues usually surround him having a hard time sharing attention (at BMs house he is the only child and is treated as the golden child, vs at our house he has to share DH attention with DD and myself). I'm very lucky in that he adjusts to following the different rules between two houses easily enough, but it's the emotional and level of attention adjustment that is extremely hard for him. Usually we do a big welcome home dinner for him, but this year we actually have our family vacation to walt disney world planned for the week of his return. He likes the dinner (and I'm sure he'll love the trip to WDW), but he often complains that it's not enough, that he wants us to make it all about him and have a true celebration of his return that lasts days or even weeks. He also expects DH to be "just his" for the first few days/weeks he returns. I'm not sure how reasonable that is, and it's definitely not practical as I still need DH to be around to do his share of the work around the house. For DD and I (who are both by nature quiet people) our biggest adjustment is the noise that SS brings with him. This kid loves to talk! I mean there is truly not a thought that pops into his head that he doesnt feel isnt worth sharing, and for someone more introverted like me, it can be extremely overwhelming. So what are the things you do to help the adjustment to the kids being back home? How much do you make it celebration of thier return, vs life as normal (especially considering there is another child who does not receive such a celebration because they get shuffled back and forth every weekend)?
on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:46 AM