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Are you a SAHM with BC and SC who has disengaged from SC?

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:48 PM
  • 9 Replies
How do you handle being disengaged with SC when you are home with them? How do you handle SC misbehavior (lying, deceit, rudeness, meanness) toward yourself or your BC at the time it happens when BP isn't home? I'm looking for any insite or advice that can be helpful. Children in the home are ages 8, 6 and 10 months.
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:48 PM
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Replies (1-9):
MBanks524
by Platinum Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:08 PM
Remember the SC is still a kid. Be patient and understanding. Shower the child with kindness and you most likely will get same in return. Maybe SC is jealous of attention BC is getting or looking for negative attention because you're disengaged.
andie646c
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:09 PM

When I was fully disengaged I didn't allow the children to be around me without DH. Solved that problem.

100problems-1
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:10 PM
Same.

Quoting andie646c:

When I was fully disengaged I didn't allow the children to be around me without DH. Solved that problem.

BrandiGra
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:41 PM
I don't think it's possible to completely disengage from a stepchild you have to babysit.
I mean you at least have to treat them as any babysitter would then inform the parent when that parent gets home.
If the parent is not disciplining the child then you don't babysit anymore and the parent had to find other childcare.
Your sahm status doesn't really matter because it is a spouse/ parenting problem.
sarycanary
by Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 2:14 AM

This is where I feel "stuck". I suppose that I can't actually fully disengage. I have chosen to disengage with things relating to parenting that seem to cause or be met with friction. For example, eating habits, bathing, cleaning their room, and homework. Having my husband be responsible for that stuff. 

Quoting andie646c:

When I was fully disengaged I didn't allow the children to be around me without DH. Solved that problem.


sarycanary
by Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 2:22 AM

I agree. I just don't like having to report or inform. Sometimes I feel like I am tattling on SC. I'm sure my husband doesn't like hearing it either. Stinks that it's my role as SM/babysitter to inform so that he can parent. 

Quoting BrandiGra: I don't think it's possible to completely disengage from a stepchild you have to babysit. I mean you at least have to treat them as any babysitter would then inform the parent when that parent gets home. If the parent is not disciplining the child then you don't babysit anymore and the parent had to find other childcare. Your sahm status doesn't really matter because it is a spouse/ parenting problem.


tinybluemoon
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 6:57 AM

I don't usually have my SC when DH isn't here. Problem solved.

whatIknownow
by on Jul. 26, 2014 at 7:26 AM

You would handle it the same way you would if they were any other kids you're babysitting for. And remember, if they they are truley intolerable, they can go to daycare.

soooowhatnow
by on Jul. 26, 2014 at 12:41 PM
I don't watch SC at all. If SC is here. DH is here.

Quoting andie646c:

When I was fully disengaged I didn't allow the children to be around me without DH. Solved that problem.

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