Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Communication- sick kid

Posted by on Jul. 26, 2014 at 10:08 PM
  • 56 Replies
How much information do you think is appropriate to communicate to the other BP when your child is sick?

DH was a little frustrated the past few days and today did not help.
Wednesday SS left our house (DH had/s MTxxxSS this week) seemingly fine, but by the end of the day he wasn't feeling well. It happens; BM texts that night SS has a low fever, DH asks for degrees. She says 100.3.
Thursday SS stays home from daycare. BM responds he is fine all day, but come evening that he has a slight fever. DH asks for degrees, but does not receive an actual temp.
Friday SS stays home from daycare. He is fine all day.

DH had to work this am, so I had to do the Saturday 11a exchange- probably my second in two years. At the exchange BM informs me the new toy she handed SS as he got out of the car was to get him to take his fever reducer. She then says SS fever was 101. I mentioned DH had said it was 100.3, and she says oh yeah, it was that too. When I asked if he had eaten she said a few bites of bagel today and not very much the last two days.

That was pretty much it. I didn't ask a lot of questions- just my confusion about the temp and about the food since I was wondering if I should feed him before his nap (SS still naps at 4 and doesn't even complain!). When we went inside he asked for Goldfish and I text DH. Halfway through his snack SS told me his mouth hurt and pulled inside his mouth. I took a look and he had a fairly large, and clearly developed, cold sore right inside his cheek. I sent an update to DH and he was upset.

He felt the cold sore should really have been communicated. SS has a history of them and he has a history of fevers when one is forming. DH just would have been happier if he had all of the info and if it didn't feel like pulling teeth.
by on Jul. 26, 2014 at 10:08 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
progressandjoy
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 10:30 PM
1 mom liked this
DH and BM don't worry about those details.

We don't know every time SS is sick, and we don't call her every time he's sick. If he misses school or has to go to urgent care/emergency room, they communicate. Other than that, they let each other know what's going on (fevers, appetite, if he's taken medication, etc) when they see each other next.
aeELE
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 10:34 PM
Hmmm, I thought the cold sore was a big deal, but I'm just learning about them as SS gets them.

He did miss "school" and have a fever though. Idk. Maybe you're right.

Quoting progressandjoy: DH and BM don't worry about those details.

We don't know every time SS is sick, and we don't call her every time he's sick. If he misses school or has to go to urgent care/emergency room, they communicate. Other than that, they let each other know what's going on (fevers, appetite, if he's taken medication, etc) when they see each other next.
MBanks524
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 10:50 PM
1 mom liked this
BM and DH text each other when SD is sick. They keep each other informed of changes. I believe that the way they handle it is a good way.
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 10:56 PM
Really? Cold sore? I'm sorry but quite frankly - unless the cold sore is on the lip or my kid shows me, I don't know about the cold sore.

I think the communication that was received was fine. Is there more your dh would have liked?

Devils advocate: mom didn't know about the cold sore.
2. She knew and she simply forgot.

Fever can change. It can be 100 one day and 101 the next. I would be more concerned about his symptoms. If the fever is still there by tomorrow - I would consider that he needs to be seen by a dr on Monday morning. He could have strep throat. Behavior is fine but has a fever. My kids both have different symptoms depending on the strain.

No one is perfect. She may be totally stressed out. Not sure if she is who stayed home with him on Thursday and Friday but that can be stressful. Or she may have simply forgotten to tell you about the cold sore.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 10:57 PM
Cold sores aren't that big of a deal. I used to get them all the time. Usually never when I was sick. I grew out of them I guess. I don't get them anymore.

Quoting aeELE: Hmmm, I thought the cold sore was a big deal, but I'm just learning about them as SS gets them.

He did miss "school" and have a fever though. Idk. Maybe you're right.

Quoting progressandjoy: DH and BM don't worry about those details.

We don't know every time SS is sick, and we don't call her every time he's sick. If he misses school or has to go to urgent care/emergency room, they communicate. Other than that, they let each other know what's going on (fevers, appetite, if he's taken medication, etc) when they see each other next.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:03 PM
1 mom liked this
Regarding the cold sore again: cold sores develop because of fever. That is why they are commonly known as fever blisters. They do not cause fever. Fever can cause the herpes simplex virus to be activated. Stress can also cause a sore to develop.

If he has a history of them forming along with fever then I would suspect that dad should have just known that it was going to happen along with the fever.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:05 PM

I think BM communicated that SS was sick and was running a slight fever. What more did you/DH expect?

We found out SD was sick with the flu when BM dropped her off to DH, and 10 minutes later SD threw clam chowder up all over our car.

mrsd2013
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:16 PM

I completely agree with this. Things like fever change and cold sore can developed or change fairly quickly with kids. If he still has a fever I'd suggest taking him to the docs though. Weds-Sun is long enough to want him to get checked out. 

Quoting momof2ex1: Really? Cold sore? I'm sorry but quite frankly - unless the cold sore is on the lip or my kid shows me, I don't know about the cold sore. I think the communication that was received was fine. Is there more your dh would have liked? Devils advocate: mom didn't know about the cold sore. 2. She knew and she simply forgot. Fever can change. It can be 100 one day and 101 the next. I would be more concerned about his symptoms. If the fever is still there by tomorrow - I would consider that he needs to be seen by a dr on Monday morning. He could have strep throat. Behavior is fine but has a fever. My kids both have different symptoms depending on the strain. No one is perfect. She may be totally stressed out. Not sure if she is who stayed home with him on Thursday and Friday but that can be stressful. Or she may have simply forgotten to tell you about the cold sore.


aeELE
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:17 PM
I know he would have liked to know how high SS temp went. I know he was concerned that SS might need to see a pediatrician, until there was no fever Friday. If SS had any other symptoms, they were not communicated.

I think not knowing about the cold sore bothered him because he was worried about his child and feeling helpless about the unknown (i.e. the cause). I think that he wouldn't have been as upset, concerned still, but less upset perhaps, if he'd known about it bc SS has a history of cold sore induced fevers.

I don't think he's looking for perfection. I think he's looking for information; the same kind of information he'd supply if SS had been sick during his half of the week.

I believe SS stayed with BM's parents, but I didn't ask. I only ask about his well being; the logistics aren't really my business at BM's IMO.

DH hates knowing that his child is sick and being unable to care for him. It stressed him out. Rightly so, IMO.

SS was his completely normal self today. He ate everything (on one side) and was quite active.

Quoting momof2ex1: Really? Cold sore? I'm sorry but quite frankly - unless the cold sore is on the lip or my kid shows me, I don't know about the cold sore. I think the communication that was received was fine. Is there more your dh would have liked? Devils advocate: mom didn't know about the cold sore. 2. She knew and she simply forgot. Fever can change. It can be 100 one day and 101 the next. I would be more concerned about his symptoms. If the fever is still there by tomorrow - I would consider that he needs to be seen by a dr on Monday morning. He could have strep throat. Behavior is fine but has a fever. My kids both have different symptoms depending on the strain. No one is perfect. She may be totally stressed out. Not sure if she is who stayed home with him on Thursday and Friday but that can be stressful. Or she may have simply forgotten to tell you about the cold sore.
aeELE
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:21 PM
His fever was Wednesday and Thursday. He did not have one Friday and was completely fine today.

Quoting mrsd2013:

I completely agree with this. Things like fever change and cold sore can developed or change fairly quickly with kids. If he still has a fever I'd suggest taking him to the docs though. Weds-Sun is long enough to want him to get checked out. 

Quoting momof2ex1: Really? Cold sore? I'm sorry but quite frankly - unless the cold sore is on the lip or my kid shows me, I don't know about the cold sore. I think the communication that was received was fine. Is there more your dh would have liked? Devils advocate: mom didn't know about the cold sore. 2. She knew and she simply forgot. Fever can change. It can be 100 one day and 101 the next. I would be more concerned about his symptoms. If the fever is still there by tomorrow - I would consider that he needs to be seen by a dr on Monday morning. He could have strep throat. Behavior is fine but has a fever. My kids both have different symptoms depending on the strain. No one is perfect. She may be totally stressed out. Not sure if she is who stayed home with him on Thursday and Friday but that can be stressful. Or she may have simply forgotten to tell you about the cold sore.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)