Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

so now what?

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 10:22 AM
  • 36 Replies
DH has started doing day labor and giving me the checks.

He is now pissy/bitter/resentful that I told him/his son to leave.

I'm hoping to see how to begin to mend things with him. I told him he still needs a steady full time gig. Day labor us good not great.

Now what?
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 10:22 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
tiafez
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 10:25 AM

it's a start. remind him that you love him and are proud of the steps he's making. 

soooowhatnow
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 10:27 AM
Okay. My plan has been to try to keep my mouth shut. Not be too pushy but not to pick him up either. His checking account is overdrawn but I waited for him to earn the money to fix it.
I'm just worried about how angry he is about my telling them to leave. He had no business getting an extended visit on my dime and it wasn't personal.
MBanks524
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 10:31 AM
That is great start. Keep lines of communication open. Show him you love him, support him, and are proud he is finally working.
jlg12678
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 10:33 AM
4 moms liked this

I have nothing positive to say as I think it was a huge mistake to let him move back in.  If you want him back that bad and he's really going to change I'd have made him get a job and be financially responsibile on his own without me babysitting. That means he gets his own place and pays for it and his own bills. Then I might consider taking him back if he can manage to do that for several months without fucking up.

What the hell is so appealing about him? Serious question. From everything you post he sounds like the world's biggest loser yet you want to make it work. I REALLY don't get it.

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 10:34 AM

He isn't your child, you shouldn't be relating like this to your life partner.

tiafez
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 10:46 AM

I still stand by my first  post but just remembered your story. Does he know what the repercussions will be if he doesn't continue to work? you have to put your child and yourself first. if he starts going back into his usual rut are you prepared to deal with it? 

I agree with the posters above, he is not your child he is a grown adult and should be your true partner in life not a teenager you have to check up on. 

soooowhatnow
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 10:54 AM
I have NOT let him move back in but he is giving money toward our household and our son. He says he isn't coming back because he and HIS child cannot stay for free.
I understand that and until he is working and contributing he can have his visits elsewhere.
Derdriu
by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:09 AM

I think I'd keep communications civil, thank him for the money he does give you to support your shared son, and ignore the rest.  From the little I've read of your situation, it's past time he put on his big boy pants and started acting like an adult.

OvrMyHead
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:17 AM

 I'm wondering the same, and really I don't mean to be catty.  This man is supposed to be your partner, not your child.  He is supposed to enhance your life, not drag you down.  You seem like a mature, responsible person who should have a partner.

Quoting jlg12678:

I have nothing positive to say as I think it was a huge mistake to let him move back in.  If you want him back that bad and he's really going to change I'd have made him get a job and be financially responsibile on his own without me babysitting. That means he gets his own place and pays for it and his own bills. Then I might consider taking him back if he can manage to do that for several months without fucking up.

What the hell is so appealing about him? Serious question. From everything you post he sounds like the world's biggest loser yet you want to make it work. I REALLY don't get it.

 

Married, CSM to SD14 & SS12, CBM to DS12 & DD9

soooowhatnow
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:59 AM
He us trying to make me feel guilty for making them go.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)