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Hello Group

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 2:49 PM
  • 40 Replies

I am new to this group and could sure use some advice. I have three step children/Adults and the youngest is autistic. She is 22 years old and I am having a difficult time dealing with her. The main problem is that my husband and I do not agree on how to parent her. Please help!

by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 2:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 2:51 PM

My daughter is 10 and is autistic-what exactly is the problem?



*click quote to reply back*

tiafez
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 2:52 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm not sure if I can always help but I'll always listen. Welcome!

jules2boys
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:26 PM

How long have you been SM?  Does this 22yo live in your home? 

Welcome

rmptyler
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:32 PM
I have been in her life for 4 years. Actual step mom for a year. No thank god she doesnt live with us.

Quoting jules2boys:

How long have you been SM?  Does this 22yo live in your home? 

Welcome

rmptyler
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:35 PM
She throws temper tantrums, shes disrespectful, has horrible attitude and my husband is scared to discipline her. She just got diagnosed 3 years ago. Parents did not want to address issue did not believe in early intervention.

Quoting Tigress22304:

My daughter is 10 and is autistic-what exactly is the problem?

*click quote to reply back*

rmptyler
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 4:02 PM
1 year married and no she does not live with us.

Quoting jules2boys:

How long have you been SM?  Does this 22yo live in your home? 

Welcome

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 4:09 PM

okay first off read some books on autism

or get your DH to

look up support groups to help him better understand everything.

This is NOT an easy situation-she's in a strange home-anything can set her off-a different smell/unusual noise-anything.

Disrespectful?! Maybe,I know with my daughter she just do NOT understand certain things she's told-if DH or I tell her it's bedtime and she says no-she's not trying to be a brat-she just wants to watch the rest of her tv show.

And at 22yrs of age-I'm not sure what type of discipline he's looking for.

Lower your expectations-try to be understanding.

ANd seriously lose the attitude like she's such a burden before people seem to think YOU are the cause.

I'm not saying you are-but you can come across as a problem.

Has she always been like this or is this new behavior?

Quoting rmptyler: She throws temper tantrums, shes disrespectful, has horrible attitude and my husband is scared to discipline her. She just got diagnosed 3 years ago. Parents did not want to address issue did not believe in early intervention.
Quoting Tigress22304:

My daughter is 10 and is autistic-what exactly is the problem?



*click quote to reply back*



Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 4:37 PM

is this new behavior or has she always been this way

Quoting rmptyler: She throws temper tantrums, shes disrespectful, has horrible attitude and my husband is scared to discipline her. She just got diagnosed 3 years ago. Parents did not want to address issue did not believe in early intervention.
Quoting Tigress22304:

My daughter is 10 and is autistic-what exactly is the problem?



*click quote to reply back*



rmptyler
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 4:37 PM
She has always been like this! Because ex wife and dh never disciplined, parented etc. She does not stay with us because she is a bad influence on my son. She is 22 with a mentality of a 14 year old. Unfortunately, I read and do my research but the parents dont. Im the one who fought to get her tested and get her services all they do is enable her. So its very hard when there is no support. Btw dh refuses to go to support groups or therapy.

Quoting Tigress22304:

okay first off read some books on autism

or get your DH to

look up support groups to help him better understand everything.

This is NOT an easy situation-she's in a strange home-anything can set her off-a different smell/unusual noise-anything.

Disrespectful?! Maybe,I know with my daughter she just do NOT understand certain things she's told-if DH or I tell her it's bedtime and she says no-she's not trying to be a brat-she just wants to watch the rest of her tv show.

And at 22yrs of age-I'm not sure what type of discipline he's looking for.

Lower your expectations-try to be understanding.

ANd seriously lose the attitude like she's such a burden before people seem to think YOU are the cause.

I'm not saying you are-but you can come across as a problem.

Has she always been like this or is this new behavior?

Quoting rmptyler: She throws temper tantrums, shes disrespectful, has horrible attitude and my husband is scared to discipline her. She just got diagnosed 3 years ago. Parents did not want to address issue did not believe in early intervention.

Quoting Tigress22304:

My daughter is 10 and is autistic-what exactly is the problem?

*click quote to reply back*

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 4:43 PM

does he understand that she needs a support group?!

And by not doing much of anything-he's not helping her?!

At 22,maybe she's better off in an adult day care that can help teach her useful skills vs being at Dad's who doesn't seem to have much interest in her and having to be around a SM who has issues handling her disabilities.

If my DH was ever like this my daughter (His stepchild) quite frankly I would have shown him the door. But then again-we are BOTH very hands on with my daughter daily.

Quoting rmptyler: She has always been like this! Because ex wife and dh never disciplined, parented etc. She does not stay with us because she is a bad influence on my son. She is 22 with a mentality of a 14 year old. Unfortunately, I read and do my research but the parents dont. Im the one who fought to get her tested and get her services all they do is enable her. So its very hard when there is no support. Btw dh refuses to go to support groups or therapy.
Quoting Tigress22304:

okay first off read some books on autism

or get your DH to

look up support groups to help him better understand everything.

This is NOT an easy situation-she's in a strange home-anything can set her off-a different smell/unusual noise-anything.

Disrespectful?! Maybe,I know with my daughter she just do NOT understand certain things she's told-if DH or I tell her it's bedtime and she says no-she's not trying to be a brat-she just wants to watch the rest of her tv show.

And at 22yrs of age-I'm not sure what type of discipline he's looking for.

Lower your expectations-try to be understanding.

ANd seriously lose the attitude like she's such a burden before people seem to think YOU are the cause.

I'm not saying you are-but you can come across as a problem.

Has she always been like this or is this new behavior?

Quoting rmptyler: She throws temper tantrums, shes disrespectful, has horrible attitude and my husband is scared to discipline her. She just got diagnosed 3 years ago. Parents did not want to address issue did not believe in early intervention.
Quoting Tigress22304:

My daughter is 10 and is autistic-what exactly is the problem?



*click quote to reply back*



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