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teenagers!!!!

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 6:59 PM
  • 6 Replies
I just want to touch base on my current step mom situation. My oldest SD is 17.5 yo. Her Dad and I have been together now for 4yrs, married almost 1 yr. Prior to that , he was married to his 2 youngest kids' Mother for almost 10 yrs. From what his family, the oldest SD, and he has told me, his ex wife was very mean to oldest SD. (SD1) Now that they've divorced, SD1 has buddied up with her ex step mom and I hate it!!! HATE it!!! I've fought tooth and nail to make sure SD1 is included and things are always equal. (Hubby tends to favor the 2 youngest 12yo and 10 yo) and my guess is they have a tighter bond since they lived together for so many years. So one day, me, hubby, and SD1 were driving in a blizzard to pick up the 2 youngest SK's because their Mom insisted . The roads were treacherous and many had been closed by the highway patrol. I blurted out obscenities about SD1's EX step mom. Things haven't been the same since and I feel bad :(
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 6:59 PM
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Replies (1-6):
DDDaysh
by Bronze Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 7:26 PM
1 mom liked this
What does the teenager have to do with your outburst?
amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 7:29 PM
I was just about to say the same thing.. Op your outburst was extremely inappropriate. I would apologize to your stepdaughter for behaving so poorly

Quoting DDDaysh: What does the teenager have to do with your outburst?
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 7:44 PM
1 mom liked this

 ya. honestly i wouldnt drive in a blizzard no matter WHO fucking told me to, as long as the kids were safe in the house.

whatIknownow
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe you can apologize and make amends with SD?

Why does it bother you that your SD has a good relationship with her former SM? She was her SM for 10 years.

LisaB0731
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:13 PM

My apologies... I was trying to type on my phone instead of my laptop and I couldn't keep up with what I was typing. lol SD1 spent a large amount of time telling me how happy she was that her Daddy and I was together, that it's nice to finally see him so happy, how horrible her former SM was to her, etc. Now, she goes up there and stays for weeks on end (the ex SM lives in another city), she lies to her Dad and I if we ask her if she's been up there (in a friendly way not "interrogating",) etc. I'm not  really sure how to handle this teenager because IMO I feel she's being two faced between the households. Talks about us to ex SM, talks about ex SM to us, etc. Yes, I should not have called her ex SM a bad name for making us take the kids (both of us driving an hour) in a blizzard, and I do feel bad about that. I'm just not sure what to make of this almost adult SD1 now a days. "sigh" 

whatIknownow
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this

well you know, teenagers are all about drama, I guess she was exaggerating about how bad her former SM. Or maybe she was just saying that for her father's benefit.  I guess she really does have a good relationship with her after all.

That doesn't mean that her former SM was a good match (in marriage) to her father. She can recognize that you're a better match for her father, while still wanting to maintain a relationship with her former SM. Her relationship with her former SM was separate from the marriage -- it was between the SD and former SM only.

I think you should accept that she is close to the former SM. Maybe she is being "two faced" because you are critical of her relationship with the former SM. If you respect her right to continue that relationship, maybe she will be more forthcoming about it.

Quoting LisaB0731:

My apologies... I was trying to type on my phone instead of my laptop and I couldn't keep up with what I was typing. lol SD1 spent a large amount of time telling me how happy she was that her Daddy and I was together, that it's nice to finally see him so happy, how horrible her former SM was to her, etc. Now, she goes up there and stays for weeks on end (the ex SM lives in another city), she lies to her Dad and I if we ask her if she's been up there (in a friendly way not "interrogating",) etc. I'm not  really sure how to handle this teenager because IMO I feel she's being two faced between the households. Talks about us to ex SM, talks about ex SM to us, etc. Yes, I should not have called her ex SM a bad name for making us take the kids (both of us driving an hour) in a blizzard, and I do feel bad about that. I'm just not sure what to make of this almost adult SD1 now a days. "sigh" 


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