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Weekend denial

Posted by on Aug. 5, 2014 at 9:18 AM
  • 23 Replies

Per the CO, DH gets one weekend a month during the school year. It is set that it is the long weekend for that given month. If there is no long weekend then DH and BM try to agree on a weekend. (This has been a huge failure every year so far)

This month starts school. SS's are back at BM's since practices started and they have to attend. There is only one weekend that DH can take after school starts because the next weekend is labor day weekend and it's BM's year. Any weekends before that are still considered "summer" weekends. 

DH sends BM a calendar before every school year listing his weekends for the school year (this is based off school calendars). He sent this calendar to BM 3 weeks ago.

BM replied to him last night denying him the weekend in August. DH responded that he would just take the first weekend in September instead to count toward his August weekend but that would also give him two weekends in September but not much choice since there is no other weekend for him to choose in August. BM replied to him this morning saying that she will let him know if that will work. 

Obviously, I can't predict the future and say what BM will say but if her past record holds true, and it usually does, she will wait until the week before that weekend and tell DH that she already has plans.

She is denying the August weekend because a little less than a week before DH was scheduled to bring SS's back to BM's she requested they be brought back 2 days early for some family event she had planned. DH had already made plans for that day but told her he would bring them back the next day (1 day early) which he did. She said because he refused to bring them back she rescheduled it for that weekend.

If this is already starting now, it will not be a good school year for DH's parenting time.

by on Aug. 5, 2014 at 9:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
tiafez
by Silver Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 9:38 AM

could she be telling the truth? 

Quoting stepmommy2:

Per the CO, DH gets one weekend a month during the school year. It is set that it is the long weekend for that given month. If there is no long weekend then DH and BM try to agree on a weekend. (This has been a huge failure every year so far)

This month starts school. SS's are back at BM's since practices started and they have to attend. There is only one weekend that DH can take after school starts because the next weekend is labor day weekend and it's BM's year. Any weekends before that are still considered "summer" weekends. 

DH sends BM a calendar before every school year listing his weekends for the school year (this is based off school calendars). He sent this calendar to BM 3 weeks ago.

BM replied to him last night denying him the weekend in August. DH responded that he would just take the first weekend in September instead to count toward his August weekend but that would also give him two weekends in September but not much choice since there is no other weekend for him to choose in August. BM replied to him this morning saying that she will let him know if that will work. 

Obviously, I can't predict the future and say what BM will say but if her past record holds true, and it usually does, she will wait until the week before that weekend and tell DH that she already has plans.

She is denying the August weekend because a little less than a week before DH was scheduled to bring SS's back to BM's she requested they be brought back 2 days early for some family event she had planned. DH had already made plans for that day but told her he would bring them back the next day (1 day early) which he did. She said because he refused to bring them back she rescheduled it for that weekend.

If this is already starting now, it will not be a good school year for DH's parenting time

WWNSDD?

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 9:41 AM

Makes sense.

Quoting tiafez:

could she be telling the truth? 

Quoting stepmommy2:

Per the CO, DH gets one weekend a month during the school year. It is set that it is the long weekend for that given month. If there is no long weekend then DH and BM try to agree on a weekend. (This has been a huge failure every year so far)

This month starts school. SS's are back at BM's since practices started and they have to attend. There is only one weekend that DH can take after school starts because the next weekend is labor day weekend and it's BM's year. Any weekends before that are still considered "summer" weekends. 

DH sends BM a calendar before every school year listing his weekends for the school year (this is based off school calendars). He sent this calendar to BM 3 weeks ago.

BM replied to him last night denying him the weekend in August. DH responded that he would just take the first weekend in September instead to count toward his August weekend but that would also give him two weekends in September but not much choice since there is no other weekend for him to choose in August. BM replied to him this morning saying that she will let him know if that will work. 

Obviously, I can't predict the future and say what BM will say but if her past record holds true, and it usually does, she will wait until the week before that weekend and tell DH that she already has plans.

She is denying the August weekend because a little less than a week before DH was scheduled to bring SS's back to BM's she requested they be brought back 2 days early for some family event she had planned. DH had already made plans for that day but told her he would bring them back the next day (1 day early) which he did. She said because he refused to bring them back she rescheduled it for that weekend.

If this is already starting now, it will not be a good school year for DH's parenting time


stepmommy2
by Bronze Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 9:55 AM

I don't know. She has done this a lot in the past to try and block DH from getting a weekend.

DH isn't like mad about her making plans on that weekend because he is more than willing to take that first weekend in September but per the court order he does get 1 weekend a month during the school year. That was the only weekend in the August month that was even available.

Quoting tiafez:

could she be telling the truth? 

Quoting stepmommy2:

Per the CO, DH gets one weekend a month during the school year. It is set that it is the long weekend for that given month. If there is no long weekend then DH and BM try to agree on a weekend. (This has been a huge failure every year so far)

This month starts school. SS's are back at BM's since practices started and they have to attend. There is only one weekend that DH can take after school starts because the next weekend is labor day weekend and it's BM's year. Any weekends before that are still considered "summer" weekends. 

DH sends BM a calendar before every school year listing his weekends for the school year (this is based off school calendars). He sent this calendar to BM 3 weeks ago.

BM replied to him last night denying him the weekend in August. DH responded that he would just take the first weekend in September instead to count toward his August weekend but that would also give him two weekends in September but not much choice since there is no other weekend for him to choose in August. BM replied to him this morning saying that she will let him know if that will work. 

Obviously, I can't predict the future and say what BM will say but if her past record holds true, and it usually does, she will wait until the week before that weekend and tell DH that she already has plans.

She is denying the August weekend because a little less than a week before DH was scheduled to bring SS's back to BM's she requested they be brought back 2 days early for some family event she had planned. DH had already made plans for that day but told her he would bring them back the next day (1 day early) which he did. She said because he refused to bring them back she rescheduled it for that weekend.

If this is already starting now, it will not be a good school year for DH's parenting time


Leigh84
by Gold Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 10:16 AM
2 moms liked this
If it's co'd he gets 1 weekend a month in August and the weekend he picked doesn't work for her I would ask her what weekend would be convient for her. It's in the co she can't deny it w/o a make up weekend.
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 10:29 AM

What does the CO say about make up time?

stepmommy2
by Bronze Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 10:30 AM

It doesn't.

Quoting pdxmum:

What does the CO say about make up time?


pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 10:35 AM

Well that sucks!  Seriously, it is such a loosey goosey schedule, there needs tobe some parameters for resolving differences.  Like who trumps when they can't reach agreement.  How hard would it be to get it amended to include additional language?  I would hate to have to negotiate every month with my ex about the schedule.

In the meantime, I would suggest DH get his calendar for the year set in stone now and if he wants to be flexible with BM, negotiate makeup time before he agrees.

Quoting stepmommy2:

It doesn't.

Quoting pdxmum:

What does the CO say about make up time?



stepmommy2
by Bronze Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 12:35 PM
I don't know if he could just have it changed. She would fight it 100%. It wouldn't be an easy thing.

He sent her the whole year calendar weeks ago. There shouldn't be anymore issues because the rest of the weekends are on the only extended weekend of that month. But we never know with her.

Quoting pdxmum:

Well that sucks!  Seriously, it is such a loosey goosey schedule, there needs tobe some parameters for resolving differences.  Like who trumps when they can't reach agreement.  How hard would it be to get it amended to include additional language?  I would hate to have to negotiate every month with my ex about the schedule.

In the meantime, I would suggest DH get his calendar for the year set in stone now and if he wants to be flexible with BM, negotiate makeup time before he agrees.

Quoting stepmommy2:

It doesn't.

Quoting pdxmum:

What does the CO say about make up time?

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 1:00 PM

How old are the boys and how long have they had this sort of schedule? 

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 1:03 PM
1 mom liked this

So, if he doesn't get to see his kids in August, then he files contempt of court.

She knows that he's supposed to get 1 weekend a month, if she schedules something every weekend, she's in contempt and a judge gets to explain it to her. 

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