I work a job with long hours. I carry the benefits and earn a much higher wage than my spouse or BF. I have a DD from a previous marriage, I can count on one hand how many times he has met teachers, talked to teachers, gone to PTC. I also can count on one hand how many doctor visits he has taken her to. My current spouse has never went to any of these appointments for me. I have attended, solo, about 90% of everything medically or educationally for my DD. I take care of all of her and my DS11 (my DH son also) ECA as well.
This is how a typical day goes for me right now. I leave for work at 7:40am, leave work at 5:00pm, have to have DS at football practice at 6:30pm, DD is done with volleyball practice or cheer practice at 7:00pm, so I have to get her....mind you DS is still at practice. I go home, deal with getting dinner going, laundry that needs done and tending to pets. DD has homework, so I don't really get her help. I was leaving to go grab DS at the football field by 8:30pm, but DH is going to start going and getting him, starting last night. We eat as soon as DS is home from practice. Then I go over his homework with him if he needs help with anything and we spend a bit of family time together and get ready for bed. Now, I do travel out of town for work, but it is flexible. I schedule my travel for when I am available. If I am not available, I assign someone else to go. I know from mid August to late October or early November travel for me is not going to be happening often. I think last year I traveled in that time frame once in October.
If I can manage to do my job, and do it very well at that, and magage to be there and parent my kids why is the excuse of "he works long hours" used so often for dads that pass on the work of raising their kids to their new spouses? It isn't always super easy for me, but I get it done and my kids are happy and well cared for.