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Does this happen in your sitch?

Posted by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:03 AM
  • 75 Replies
Wondering if this happens in your situation..
We have 50/50 of SS. When BM pick him up from here she gets here 20 minutes early.
When this first happened SS told us be didn't want to go out there until 5, the next time we picked him up he said he got in so much trouble for "being rude and making me wait outside your dada house for 20 minutes". He now runs outside as soon as he sees BM pull up to avoid getting in trouble. DH emailed BM saying "just a reminder, your pick up time is 5, not 4:40, as mine is 8am, not 7:40am, please adhere to CO, thanks". She proceeds to pick up SS so early. This may not be a big deal to some of you, but it is annoying that SS gets so nervous and feels the needs to run outside and becomes a nervous wreck when he sees her car. Anyone else have this issue? How did you address it?
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
tiafez
by Silver Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:06 AM

so have Dad show up to pick him up 20 minutes early? 

XXanonymousXX
by Silver Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:08 AM
7 moms liked this
When she shows up early DH should go out to her car and tell her that SS will not be out for 20 minutes. She's welcome to wait in her car or run out for coffee. Maybe DH stepping in like that will alleviate some is SS's stress.
kss12
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:08 AM
We did that once and ended up waiting for 20 min. Continuing to do that is immature IMO.

Quoting tiafez:

so have Dad show up to pick him up 20 minutes early? 

tiafez
by Silver Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:10 AM

then don't send him out until it's time. 

kss12
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:10 AM
He did that, when we got SS back he told us she said "you can't have your dad always fight your battles for you, if I am here it's rude to make me wait, bottom line, okay honey?" And he mimicked her in a preppy annoying voice. Poor kid

Quoting XXanonymousXX: When she shows up early DH should go out to her car and tell her that SS will not be out for 20 minutes. She's welcome to wait in her car or run out for coffee. Maybe DH stepping in like that will alleviate some is SS's stress.
kss12
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:12 AM
SS gets annoyed with us if we tell him to stay in, and DH feels bad that he has to listen to his mom bitch for the 20 min ride home so he just assumes let SS go to make it easier on him.

Quoting tiafez:

then don't send him out until it's time. 

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:26 AM
1 mom liked this

It's simple Dad can show her the CO that says her pick up is 5pm and that is what time the child will be ready for her.

Why is it ok for her to be so early and expects the kid to be ready right then and there....but if Dad is early-she makes him wait?

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:45 AM

DH used to get to BM's house a few minutes early and those kids sat in the house until 6 on the dot.  If DH happened to drop them off a few minutes late then the next time he went those few minutes were taken back from him.

If SS and Dad aren't doing anything, can't he just go out when she gets there?

annabl1970
by Gold Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:58 AM
BM would always came early for pick ups, like half hour early. SD was terrified if she didn't get out of house right away when BM came. Crazy psycho would push the horn with no stop, yell at SD, neighbors would look from their windows to know what happened.
It was brought up in court, DH's lawyer asked judge to make a changes to DU and PU, judge agreed. DH started to do DU and PU himself - we live very near BM's house - problem solved.
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kss12
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:59 AM
She made DH wait because of the time SS didn't want to go outside and kept her waiting 20 min. She does the "get back" kind of thing at expense of SS. If it's 5 then it's 5, simple as that. It's just hard for us to tell SS to stay inside because he'll be in trouble for nothing.
BM is just honorary in our situation

Quoting Tigress22304:

It's simple Dad can show her the CO that says her pick up is 5pm and that is what time the child will be ready for her.

Why is it ok for her to be so early and expects the kid to be ready right then and there....but if Dad is early-she makes him wait?

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