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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

What's with CP dads?

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2014 at 2:08 PM
  • 103 Replies
6 moms liked this
What is up with the super high concentration of CP dads that work jobs that are 12 plus hours nearly everyday? And what's up with SM being the SAH? Wouldn't it stand to reason that if SM got a job then Dad could work a little less and actually RAISE his kids he wanted custody of?

Most of these are dads that don't have kids with SM yet. They are the SM that say they are tired of doing MOMS job of raising the kids. NO HONEY!! You are doing dads job for HIM. Mom isn't supporting you to SAH. Dad is.
by on Aug. 17, 2014 at 2:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
IonlyGrowBoys
by Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 2:17 PM
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Why should SM have to work to support dads kids? If dad wants her to be a stay at home wife, then went should she have to work, so that dad can spend more time with the kids?

Now if the trade off is, you stay home and take care of the kids or get a job, then sm should work or take care of the kids. If that's not the agreement, then both parents need to chip in on child care. It should not fall on step mom
malinda74
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 2:18 PM
Idk. DH is cp. He works 8 hour days and is off at 3. Off weekends. BTW..biomom was a sahm when they were married. She still doesn't work. She also never did typical sahm stuff when they were married hence the divorce. DH took kids to school/preschool and picked up and cooked and cleaned. On weekends he often took kids to do stuff..mom didn't care to join. He is still an involved hands on parent.
I wouldn't be okay with him never being home and being cp. I dont understand those SMS either.
KarmaBusDriver
by ChiefBottleWasher on Aug. 17, 2014 at 2:20 PM
2 moms liked this

DHs hours are DHs hours because that's what his work contract says, it has nothing to do with me. He would be working the same hours even if I wasn't in the picture. Some people have the luxury of picking more flexible jobs, some do not.

It is still pretty common for society to accept that women stay home while men bring home the pay check per say. I know that where I live because of the predominant religion women are looked down upon if they work. "Their place is in the home." Even though the cost of living, usually demands for two-income households.

when I was a sahsm, I never complained though. I was grateful that my husband had steady work, and I was happy to help out. BM was never part of the equation, if and when she ever paid support it was for her kids. 

DH got custody because he was the better parent and provided a better environment for his children. The judge didn't hold his job against him or the hours he had to work, it was known to the judge where and what hours he worked when the judge made his decision. DH was expected to provide for his family.

that being said though, nothing was expected of me in regards to helping out with his kids. I was not expected to be home with kids, or help out. If I said no, DH would have found alternatives. It just happened to work out well for us as a family to do it the way we did.   

hershey6
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 2:24 PM
I worked up until I had my son with DH. We made the decision for me to stay home because we both thought it was beneficial for both our son and SD. Also, my earning potential is significantly less. DH being the stay at home dad was never really discussed, and to be honest I don't know that he would like that. He loves his kids, but I am not sure that he would really thrive in a situation where he was in charge of dr appts and school stuff and keeping the house in order.
GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:01 PM
1 mom liked this
SM should support herself. Not his kids. I stayed at home a while after DS was born. I never bitched about doing BM job. I was home with my kids and his kids. I was helping him. Not BM.

Quoting IonlyGrowBoys: Why should SM have to work to support dads kids? If dad wants her to be a stay at home wife, then went should she have to work, so that dad can spend more time with the kids?

Now if the trade off is, you stay home and take care of the kids or get a job, then sm should work or take care of the kids. If that's not the agreement, then both parents need to chip in on child care. It should not fall on step mom
GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:04 PM
So this was a decision made by you and DH? Do you feel like you are doing this for yours and DH family or do you bitch about doing BM job for her?

Quoting hershey6: I worked up until I had my son with DH. We made the decision for me to stay home because we both thought it was beneficial for both our son and SD. Also, my earning potential is significantly less. DH being the stay at home dad was never really discussed, and to be honest I don't know that he would like that. He loves his kids, but I am not sure that he would really thrive in a situation where he was in charge of dr appts and school stuff and keeping the house in order.
thecircus8
by Silver Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:29 PM
I think the problem when the SM complains about it. I was a SAHM for a few months after DH and I moved in together. It was a good thing. Allowed us to bond and took the stress off of DH, got routines down etc. But I agreed yo it and never complained.I had to go to work though We couldn't survive on one income. We are lucky I work crimson and DH usually works opposite shifts. So our 17 try olds handle it for the the hour DH gets home or they are at my in-law.

If a SM agrees to it she has No right to complain. If she doesn't agree it's a DH. Issue. Not BM or SK. Issue.
chanizen
by Platinum Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:33 PM
1 mom liked this
Not the point. Sm isn't working to support dad's kids. She would be working to support herself and her own kids.

Perhaps if sm did that, dad wouldn't be working 60 hours and sm wouldn't be doing his child rearing.

He got custody. Not sm. shouldn't he be parenting?

Quoting IonlyGrowBoys: Why should SM have to work to support dads kids? If dad wants her to be a stay at home wife, then went should she have to work, so that dad can spend more time with the kids?

Now if the trade off is, you stay home and take care of the kids or get a job, then sm should work or take care of the kids. If that's not the agreement, then both parents need to chip in on child care. It should not fall on step mom
erinsmom1964
by Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:35 PM
Many professions require that type of time commitment. My hubby is a truck driver. Over the road when we met, as was I. Now he moves oil rigs. Same schedule away from home double the money. You don't work 40 hours in this business.
Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:51 PM

DH isn't custodial-but he still spends plenty of time with his kids....the only time I would have the kids majority of HIS time is during the summer-they still stay with me while Dad's working.

But regardless he does parenting when he is home with his kids.

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