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How do u feel when u get letters/calls from child support???

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2014 at 10:08 PM
  • 198 Replies

I seriously have a lack of peace when we get letters in the mail that they're doing a review/modification or requesting financial information. Ours is going to go up soon :( I hate it, especially since hubby and I are finally in a decent place financially where we can start saving, pay off debt, take the occasional vacation,etc. BM will NEVER be happy with the amount she gets. She's so greedy!!! I have friends that get c.s. and they don't request financial information all the time or try to constantly get more more more. Oh well. BM is a miserable woman I'm sure. Can't keep a job or a relationship for more than a few years, and her days of us giving her money are numbered! haha.

by on Aug. 19, 2014 at 10:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tottaxi
by Member on Aug. 19, 2014 at 10:32 PM
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Child support is calculated on DH"s salary (usually net).  It isn't based on BM's greed, it's based on a formula that your state deems appropriate for caring for DH's children while in BM's care. 

IMO, when the NCP gets an increase in earnings they should report this themselves so that their children reap the rewards of their financial successes.  I know that this isn't required, but it does put the BM in a position of continually having to ask that adjustments be made to the children's support money.  She wouldn't have to ask if he did this on his own volition.

Skybabe
by Member on Aug. 19, 2014 at 10:35 PM

 And what's wrong with her being happy she gets something, instead of always wanting more? There are other children my husband has to take care of as well. And actually she is greedy. She has stolen money from her family and the IRS.

Quoting tottaxi:

Child support is calculated on DH"s salary (usually net).  It isn't based on BM's greed, it's based on a formula that your state deems appropriate for caring for DH's children while in BM's care. 

IMO, when the NCP gets an increase in earnings they should report this themselves so that their children reap the rewards of their financial successes.  I know that this isn't required, but it does put the BM in a position of continually having to ask that adjustments be made to the children's support money.  She wouldn't have to ask if he did this on his own volition.

 

tottaxi
by Member on Aug. 19, 2014 at 10:41 PM
2 moms liked this

I heard on the news today that it now takes $245,000 to raise ONE child to the age of 18.  That's over $13,600 per year...for one child.  I know my son doesn't receive anywhere near that amount per year.  In fact, not even half that.  Not even close.  So who makes up the difference?  The CP.

SHE isn't gettng anything.  DH's children are.

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Aug. 19, 2014 at 10:54 PM
1 mom liked this
I read the same thing on line today. I receive $3000/year for 2 boys, $1500 each, per year from XH. Who makes up the difference? Me. I make a bit more than XH but not that much more, not enough more to make up his "half".

OP, I don't think BM has as much power to change CS as you give her. Your DH can also ask for a review if he feels CS should be lowered based on his income.

Quoting tottaxi:

I heard on the news today that it now takes $245,000 to raise ONE child to the age of 18.  That's over $13,600 per year...for one child.  I know my son doesn't receive anywhere near that amount per year.  In fact, not even half that.  Not even close.  So who makes up the difference?  The CP.


SHE isn't gettng anything.  DH's children are.

annabl1970
by Gold Member on Aug. 19, 2014 at 10:56 PM
3 moms liked this
Don't stress over it
It's just another bill which needs to be paid.


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Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Aug. 19, 2014 at 11:03 PM
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Eh. In our state CS can only be re-figured every 2 years OR when there's a significant change in circumstance (the NCP has a baby, either parent loses their job or has a huge change in pay, custody changes, etc).

DH get letters from CS enforcement every month providing him a statement of all CS received for the month. BM is currently 3 months behind, she's slowly been paying it off and has been paying consistently since April.

CS will be re-figured in February, which is the 2 year mark. She's not to happy about paying CS and in fact has had some of the same things you've stated. That DH is greedy and just wants her money, that if HE needs more money then *I* should get a job, etc

The thing is, a child has TWO parents. The NCP has a responsibility to their child (the CHILD, not the CP) to pay CS. In an in-tact home the child would benefit from a parent getting a raise, why shouldn't they benefit from it in a divorced home?

DH paid CS for several years. He never complained. In fact, when he had a change in income HE reported it to CS enforcement himself for the benefit of his child. He also bought school clothes in September and whenever SD grew out of clothes and needed more. That was above and beyond his CS. 

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Aug. 19, 2014 at 11:16 PM
1 mom liked this
I disagree in some cases. In some cases the ncp is workin OT to stay afloat. If cp wants to work harder or more hours she can by all means.

Quoting tottaxi:

Child support is calculated on DH"s salary (usually net).  It isn't based on BM's greed, it's based on a formula that your state deems appropriate for caring for DH's children while in BM's care. 



IMO, when the NCP gets an increase in earnings they should report this themselves so that their children reap the rewards of their financial successes.  I know that this isn't required, but it does put the BM in a position of continually having to ask that adjustments be made to the children's support money.  She wouldn't have to ask if he did this on his own volition.

DDDaysh
by on Aug. 19, 2014 at 11:40 PM
1 mom liked this

When income increases CS SHOULD increase because in an intact family, children continue to have their situations improve as their parents' situations improve.  That support is the CHILD's right, not BM's greed. 

Besides, BM might not even being the one sending it out.  The state might be sending it out on their own if he's ever been in arrears or if the child has ever received any kind of public assistance, like foodstamps or medicaid. 

Child support and it's review/implementation process is governed by your state laws.  If you have a problem with them, I suggest your call your congressman rather than bitching about BM. 

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Aug. 19, 2014 at 11:42 PM

I think there's a difference between getting a raise and working OT. OT isn't always an option, it isn't something that a NCP will always get. It's unfair to them to calculate OT.

Quoting faerie75: I disagree in some cases. In some cases the ncp is workin OT to stay afloat. If cp wants to work harder or more hours she can by all means.
Quoting tottaxi:

Child support is calculated on DH"s salary (usually net).  It isn't based on BM's greed, it's based on a formula that your state deems appropriate for caring for DH's children while in BM's care. 

IMO, when the NCP gets an increase in earnings they should report this themselves so that their children reap the rewards of their financial successes.  I know that this isn't required, but it does put the BM in a position of continually having to ask that adjustments be made to the children's support money.  She wouldn't have to ask if he did this on his own volition.


AirForceWife13
by Bronze Member on Aug. 19, 2014 at 11:45 PM
When dh paid cs it was a set amount that they agreed on and agreed it would never change no matter if income changed or not. Luckily we finished with cs earlier this year. It wasnt a big deal, just meant we dont have to pay it anymore.
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