OK.. So im 20 something dating a 30 something for 3 years now. I have 2 children that have a father that hasnt seen them in 4 years ( dont worry, they are happy and its better off that way for their own goo. Drugs do terrible things to people and Im happy they dont have to deal with addiction at their elementary ages) So needless to say, my two are home with us 24/7. no weekends or midweek night away from mom.
BF: 2 boys of his own, one local from his first marriage and another 2000 miles away from his second..."relationship" that didnt last long. Its puts a huge starin on our faily having him so far away. We are lucky to see him 1-2 times a year for a few weeks. And because he is so far away and home only some of the time, our life revolves around his presence when he is here. We embrace it but it takes its physical and emotional toll on me for sure. Boyfriends oldest is 12, constantly stealing from someone, sneaking out, and has openly admitted to smoking pot already.
On top of feeling like i dont fit into these boys' life because they already have a mother and really just look towards me for an answer when Dad isnt around... now they are growing into teenagers and I feel like life is becoming out of control.
My youngest gets a hard way to go in the house.. hes the smart nerdy kid that wouold rather play alone than pass the football...totally not like his possible future stepbrothers.
I am definitely feeling overwhelmed and have even saught out therapy because i have a habbit of taking too much responcibility on myself. I DO blame myself for puting my kidsi the middle of this because if it doesnt work I have to strip them of another father, and that absolutey rips my heart out for them.
Our relationship is really strained because I am not happy... some days its great and another I just feel like I took a wrong turn.