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Resentment

Posted by on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:22 PM
  • 51 Replies

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Lately I feel as if my sd resents me. She's been acting out a lot. And this passed weekend she actually bit me and left a bruise the bruise is the picture attached. That bruise is from Saturday and taken today. Saturday morning started out I was watch sd and her cousin while her grandparents were at the store and her dad was doing other errands. I got her clothes out and she refused to pick a shirt to wear so I picked one (no biggie). Then I told her she had to get her hair brushed. She wanted to brush it with her fingers I said no use a brush. Her cousin was brushing her hair with her fingers. But her cousins dad was right there so if he wanted his daughter to do otherwise that was up to him. And I told my sd that. She refused to brush it with a brush. So like 15 mins goes by and I go in the camper and asked if she brushed her hair (clearly seeing it wasn't brushed) she said she did. But I told her I had to brush it and check it. She started throwing a fit and I told her her cousin will go home if she doesn't let me brush her hair. So she started to let me then pulled away again. After fighting and arguing and her locking herself in the bathroom her uncle came over and she unlocked the bathroom door. He leaned in and yelled at her and told her to do as I say. Her cousins dad told her to quit disrespecting me earlier already. So she started brushing her hair with a brush and I told her I still had to go through and make sure it was brushed good. Then she was fighting me again. Her uncle ended up coming back over and helped me pull her out of the bathroom and she sat on the floor. So her uncle picked her up off the floor and sat her on the bed and yelled at her. She started crying and I brushed her hair. End of that. I told her if she went outside she needed a jacket on I wasn't gonna have her getting sick. So she said she was staying inside I said ok. But then she came outside and I told her get a hoodie on several times and she just went back inside. Later I was laying down stressed out dh still not home but now the grandparents are and she was still being disrespectful. Telling me she's kicking out of the camper and she don't have to listen to me and I'm not the boss. I told her if she didn't knock it off she would sit. Well she wouldn't sit so I had to make her sit as my dh told me to do. So I ended up wrapping my arms and legs around her and she was saying how this is a fun game and her game. Then she started to punch and bite me. Then ended up biting me hard enough to leave a mark. I walked out of the camper and had enough. When dh got home. His dad went and told him what happened and his dad wasn't even there for it. He made her sit for like 15 mins and that's it. She still got to go swimming later and everything. Now just today we were at the dinner table and she was playing on her phone (it doesn't work just has games) I told to put it up at dinner. She got mad but did it. Then tried to sneak it under the table and I told her to put it up again. So she said we needed to have a talk after dinner. So when she came to talk to me it was your not the boss of me and your not the queen. I told her if she was being disrespectful then she can turn around and walk right back out because I am not dealing with it. She told me to lose my attitude I told her to lose hers because she is not the boss or in charge. She then said my dads not marrying you. Were to be married October 2016. But idk what to do. She's never been this bad before or treated me like this
by on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
oldproatthis
by Silver Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:36 PM
4 moms liked this
Why the battles over that stuff? Forcibly brushing her hair, making her dress? Some lessons get learned the hard way. I would not have engaged in that kind of a test of wills that lead to a physical confrontation ESPECIALLY when dad's discipline is lighter...you are set up to be the "bad cop". I would have put her hairbrush up and let dad know why her hair was a mess when he gets home...he can deal...won't dress for the temperature...again, let dad get onto her when he gets home...no child has frozen to dead over a test of wills...she gets cold enough she will dress herself...or keep going inside to get warm...

It is NOT worth the battle ESPECIALLY when dad from the sounds of it isn't the strongest disciplinarian or defender of you.

When she gives you shit about you not being the boss of her smile and walk away because she's right...you don't need to stoop down to the level of this disrespectful troll dad is raising, not your kid, not your Rubik's cube puzzle to solve...walk away with a smile and let dad deal with his little disrespectful brat. Don't let her bring out the worst in you.
tiafez
by Silver Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:41 PM
2 moms liked this

I think you're battling a child over things that are just power struggles. Does Dad have custody? because if this kid goes home and tells mom you manhandled her there can be repercussions. next time, tell Dad to take her with him or you run errands and he parents his kid.

18stepmommy
by Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:42 PM
But I'm scared of how she's gonna act when she's a teenager and when me and her dad do have our own children. I feel like she's gonna really try to hurt me when she's older.
thejodigirl
by Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:42 PM
3 moms liked this

Wth?? Who sits on and restrains a child?? You, you're just..I can't.

18stepmommy
by Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:43 PM
Her mom has nothing to do with her anymore. I think that's half the problem. She's never been like this before it's all recent behavior.

Quoting tiafez:

I think you're battling a child over things that are just power struggles. Does Dad have custody? because if this kid goes home and tells mom you manhandled her there can be repercussions. next time, tell Dad to take her with him or you run errands and he parents his kid.

18stepmommy
by Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:44 PM
I didn't sit on her... I sat her on the bed because she refused to sit. I sat behind her and held her there to make her sit but she was fighting me and pinching me and biting me.

Quoting thejodigirl:

Wth?? Who sits on and restrains a child?? You, you're just..I can't.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:47 PM
None of those were issues you should have faught her so hard on.
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:48 PM
1 mom liked this
I've had to restrain my DD. However, she has special needs. And I would NEVER let anyone other than DH, myself, or one of her therapists do it.

Quoting thejodigirl:

Wth?? Who sits on and restrains a child?? You, you're just..I can't.

thejodigirl
by Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:54 PM
1 mom liked this

And you're wondering if and why she resents you? You were very wrong. 

Quoting 18stepmommy: I didn't sit on her... I sat her on the bed because she refused to sit. I sat behind her and held her there to make her sit but she was fighting me and pinching me and biting me.
Quoting thejodigirl:

Wth?? Who sits on and restrains a child?? You, you're just..I can't.


18stepmommy
by Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:56 PM
My dh told me to do that! You think I would do that on my own. I don't think so. That's what dh told me to do. If she don't do as I say make her. So I did. End of that.

Quoting thejodigirl:

And you're wondering if and why she resents you? You were very wrong. 

Quoting 18stepmommy: I didn't sit on her... I sat her on the bed because she refused to sit. I sat behind her and held her there to make her sit but she was fighting me and pinching me and biting me.

Quoting thejodigirl:

Wth?? Who sits on and restrains a child?? You, you're just..I can't.

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