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can a non custodial parent pick up a child from school?

Posted by on Aug. 21, 2014 at 7:18 PM
  • 58 Replies

I have a neighbor going through some issues and thought this would be a great place to get advice Her step daughter lives with her and the mom has visitation for school breaks. The mom keeps saying she is going to check the child out of school early one day. However she is not on the contact list at school. If she has court ordered visitation does it matter if she is on the pick up list? Do schools release kids because of visitation orders?


******EDIT**** This is what they have on their court order if that helps. 

by on Aug. 21, 2014 at 7:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JALang6
by on Aug. 21, 2014 at 7:25 PM
1 mom liked this

No. They won't release a child to an unauthorized person without written consent from the parent.

Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 7:31 PM

Mom should be listed on things as mom. It would depend on how the CO is written whether or not she should be on the pick up list. Make sure the school has a copy of their CO to back up anything your neighbor's DH requests.


HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 7:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Does BM have joint legal custody? In that case, with the CO in hand, she could sign out her child during school hours and have no legal issue as long as she returned her to school before school let out - when 'custodial' time begins. If BM only has visitation and no legal custody at all, she cannot sign her out.  Schools cannot prevent a parent from signing out their child unless there is a restraining order on hand

samantha0906
by Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 7:45 PM
Quoting HopesNDreams:

Does BM have joint legal custody? In that case, with the CO in hand, she could sign out her child during school hours and have no legal issue as long as she returned her to school before school let out - when 'custodial' time begins. If BM only has visitation and no legal custody at all, she cannot sign her out.  Schools cannot prevent a parent from signing out their child unless there is a restraining order on hand



Just visitation. She has taken the child before and hid her so thats why they are concerned. The court order does not say though that she cant pick them up. It just says she has visitaion from certain days
HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 7:51 PM
3 moms liked this

They should make sure that a copy of the CO is at the school and that the office staff is aware that she does not have custodial rights.

Quoting samantha0906:
Quoting HopesNDreams:

Does BM have joint legal custody? In that case, with the CO in hand, she could sign out her child during school hours and have no legal issue as long as she returned her to school before school let out - when 'custodial' time begins. If BM only has visitation and no legal custody at all, she cannot sign her out.  Schools cannot prevent a parent from signing out their child unless there is a restraining order on hand

Just visitation. She has taken the child before and hid her so thats why they are concerned. The court order does not say though that she cant pick them up. It just says she has visitaion from certain days



HopesNDreams

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Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 7:53 PM

If it says he has sole custody, I believe he can stop he from picking up.

Quoting samantha0906:
Quoting HopesNDreams:

Does BM have joint legal custody? In that case, with the CO in hand, she could sign out her child during school hours and have no legal issue as long as she returned her to school before school let out - when 'custodial' time begins. If BM only has visitation and no legal custody at all, she cannot sign her out.  Schools cannot prevent a parent from signing out their child unless there is a restraining order on hand

Just visitation. She has taken the child before and hid her so thats why they are concerned. The court order does not say though that she cant pick them up. It just says she has visitaion from certain days


caligirl7613
by on Aug. 21, 2014 at 7:54 PM
I think it depends. My x was able to pick up our kids because he had a copy of their birth certificate and his ID. We had a CO, but it didn't specifically prohibit school pick up. It didn't mention it at all. We got that fixed shortly after.
jules2boys
by Gold Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 8:15 PM
1 mom liked this

In my kids school district (covers 30+ schools from elementary to HS), UNLESS there is a CO on record at the school each child attends, and UNLESS that CO states (or I'm assuming an RO/PO or something as well for the child against a BP, or any other person, but it must be some sort of court documentation on file), the school will release the child to any Birth Parent. 

If the BP isn't on record, I'm guessing a BP can bring proof (birth certificate perhaps?) that the child is theirs, and take the child, but our schools do NOT want to get in the middle of custody/visitation issues between parents and their children. 

Since there isn't a RO/PO or CO stating that the BM ONLY receives visitation from the BF (or whomever has legal/physical custody of the child), the school may release the child to the BM if she wanted to take her out early. 

Honestly, in my situation, I'm BM but I've never been asked for proof that I'm BM (they ask for an ID to sign a child out (when they didn't know me) but no proof either boy was mine).  BF has also never been asked for proof, but he's rarely on campus for either boy so it's not come up often.  IF we had a high conflict situation (we don't), I'd have to obtain a PO/RO against BF for the boys to prevent him from taking them from school and I'd have to have that paper on file with the school. 

It didn't used to be this way, but they changed it to this procedure about 8 years ago now.  I'm guessing because too many divorced parents came in claiming the OP couldn't pick the child up or something (or perhaps the OP took the child?). 

Have your neighbor check with the childs school/school district and find out what THEIR policy is, and what's needed (legally) to prevent the OP from picking up the child if there is a risk of flight (and the courts agree).  Otherwise, your neighbor may simply have to teach the child NOT to go with the OP but this could cause great issues for the child (to be put in such a position) as well as for school staff. 

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 8:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Our district requires a copy of any CO involving a child enrolled in the district. Unless the CO specifically states that the NCP cannot take the child out of school, then legally they have the right to pick the child up early.

But, our district also requires that both parents be listed on the child's records. Registration forms have a spot for the custodial household, both parents (for an in-tact home) or for parent and step-parent or whatever are listed there, and then  there's a spot for the non-custodial household. There's also a box you can check and the district and school will send all of the mailings to the NCP's home as well.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 8:56 PM

The middle school makes me show my ID every time I pick up a kid early there. They don't verify who I am, just that I'm listed on the child's paperwork as someone authorized to pick them up.

The elementary school staff all know me. I'm there 2-4 days a week volunteering between the kids' classes and the PTO. 

Quoting jules2boys:

In my kids school district (covers 30+ schools from elementary to HS), UNLESS there is a CO on record at the school each child attends, and UNLESS that CO states (or I'm assuming an RO/PO or something as well for the child against a BP, or any other person, but it must be some sort of court documentation on file), the school will release the child to any Birth Parent. 

If the BP isn't on record, I'm guessing a BP can bring proof (birth certificate perhaps?) that the child is theirs, and take the child, but our schools do NOT want to get in the middle of custody/visitation issues between parents and their children. 

Since there isn't a RO/PO or CO stating that the BM ONLY receives visitation from the BF (or whomever has legal/physical custody of the child), the school may release the child to the BM if she wanted to take her out early. 

Honestly, in my situation, I'm BM but I've never been asked for proof that I'm BM (they ask for an ID to sign a child out (when they didn't know me) but no proof either boy was mine).  BF has also never been asked for proof, but he's rarely on campus for either boy so it's not come up often.  IF we had a high conflict situation (we don't), I'd have to obtain a PO/RO against BF for the boys to prevent him from taking them from school and I'd have to have that paper on file with the school. 

It didn't used to be this way, but they changed it to this procedure about 8 years ago now.  I'm guessing because too many divorced parents came in claiming the OP couldn't pick the child up or something (or perhaps the OP took the child?). 

Have your neighbor check with the childs school/school district and find out what THEIR policy is, and what's needed (legally) to prevent the OP from picking up the child if there is a risk of flight (and the courts agree).  Otherwise, your neighbor may simply have to teach the child NOT to go with the OP but this could cause great issues for the child (to be put in such a position) as well as for school staff. 


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