Just looking for advice. I'm really torn. My husband and I talked about having one more child, but things with sd continue to be stressful. I love her dearly so please don't take this post wrong!! Its just been difficult. 5 yr old sd still doesnt know how to wipe her own butt, has difficulty feeding herself, continues to spill at every meal, is jealous of the other children, hits, bites, kicks and speaks very rudely to all of us. If the other children talk to dh or I she interrupts or becomes upset. If someone else tries to speak to the other children she is the same way. For example, a shoe salesman was trying to help the two oldest try on shoes, she became so jealous that she was yelling at the salesman and even lifted her shirt and told the salesman "Look at my shirt! Look how cute I am." We give each of the kids one on one time, even though she gets hers she still gets upset when the others get theirs. We put sd in counseling hoping to get her on the right track, now the counselor gave us the bad news that since sd's mom is so inconsistent and will not help with behaviors that she feels we are stuck at this point. Since we have rules at our house she tells us she hates us and hates our house. we have 50/50 custody, but mom never picks her up so we have ATLEAST 75% parenting time. She lies to her mom and tells her that the other kids hit and bite her despite it being the other way around. We love her and i know however i say this it is going to be taken the wrong way....but she is so disruptive to the entire household. we are bending over backwards to give her extra attention, take her to therapy, try to teach her right from wrong and things just keep getting worse.
so first my question: What else can we try?? How do we handle the situation differently??
My big debate: I think we are going to stop ttc. I just might get a tubal. I feel like if we don't have another child I may become bitter over the fact........but if we do have another child she will get that much more jealous and its already not fair to the other 3 children that they are constantly taking a back seat to her behaviors (that probably came out wrong too). SOOOO what would you do?
im asking for advice because I want to be a successful step parent, we want to be a happy blended family. Its incredibly stressful and if i had hours i would explain the behaviors better. Please please don't think I'm just complaining.