Let's take some things from this very forum on lessons other SM's taught us on how not to get blamed. (as Lee puts it)
1. Don't be the other woman.
2. Don't be the other woman.
3. Find a man who's past relationship is FIRMLY behind him. If he is still in divorce court, it's too soon.
4. Stay under the radar for a while. Be like a dog....let the other dogs sniff your butt for a while till they sense no reason to fear...bark....play alpha or any reason whatso ever to bite your head off. Yes, that takes more than a year. No, it doesn't mean be a door mat.
5. Don't be the other woman.
Anything else you ladies could add that keeps a SM in a harmless position? One where she doesn't even get the chance to be the scapegoat? Anything YOU could have done better to take the target off of your own back?