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WTF?!?!?!

Posted by on Aug. 30, 2014 at 12:58 PM
  • 27 Replies
My step son is visiting for the weekend, he told me last night while his dad was at work that his mom pawned his xbox one and his tv that he got for his birthday, which was in April. She hocked it about 2 weeks after he got it. She's also wanting him to drop out of high school to help her with his SN brother.
What kind of mother does that?! We are trying to get him to come and live with us. It breaks my heart that he can't have anything nice because his mother will sell it.

This isn't the first time she has done this. She lives with her mom and has for the past 6 years rent free, gets food stamps, and my Dh pays almost $500 a month in cs. My dss even said that she's not spending the cs on him!
I needed to vent! I just feel so bad for my dss he's such a good kid with a horrible mother.
by on Aug. 30, 2014 at 12:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
NotARockStar
by Member on Aug. 30, 2014 at 1:01 PM
3 moms liked this

Buy him nice stuff for your house if nice stuff is important to you, that way mom can't pawn it.

This is one of life's many lessons. There are some people you just can't trust.

progressandjoy
by Silver Member on Aug. 30, 2014 at 3:45 PM
How do you know (other than the word of your SS) that what he says is true?
tottaxi
by Member on Aug. 30, 2014 at 4:10 PM
2 moms liked this

Many people do not understand...and neither may your ss...that child support isn't just some big ass allowance for the kid to have for totally personal needs.  It's for the rent, the car payment, the utilities that are required to live each and every day.  Granted the BM in your situation is living rent free and on food stamps, but maybe she is trying to accumulate enough money to get a place for her kids and her.  Unless ss knows ALL the details he may not give you an accurate assessment of what is really going on.

Jadesmommy13
by Member on Aug. 30, 2014 at 4:28 PM
She doesn't work and hasn't worked in years. So why would she be saving to move when she can't pay rent?! She has hocked his stuff before. She tells him she's going to take it and hock it.

Quoting tottaxi:

Many people do not understand...and neither may your ss...that child support isn't just some big ass allowance for the kid to have for totally personal needs.  It's for the rent, the car payment, the utilities that are required to live each and every day.  Granted the BM in your situation is living rent free and on food stamps, but maybe she is trying to accumulate enough money to get a place for her kids and her.  Unless ss knows ALL the details he may not give you an accurate assessment of what is really going on.

Jadesmommy13
by Member on Aug. 30, 2014 at 4:29 PM
Because she tells him that she's going to hock his stuff.

Quoting progressandjoy: How do you know (other than the word of your SS) that what he says is true?
packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Aug. 30, 2014 at 4:47 PM

And maybe he's not telling you the reason she does it. 

I've taken things back based on attitude. Not really a big deal for parents do to that unless you have someone willing to listen to a kid's sad sob story about how mom sucks for doing it without giving you a reason why.

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Aug. 30, 2014 at 5:10 PM

Listen, this is not a defense of the BM in your life.  But you really know nothing unless you witness it.

Who bought him his stuff in the first place?

Even living rent free and getting food stamps, $500 is not a lot of money.  It isn't like food stamps buy everything.  Have you tried living off of the amount of money you get for food stamps?  He has clothes.  My guess is he has a phone.  Does he participate in sports?  Medical expenses?  Glasses?  Zit cream?  Shoes?  Prom?  Gas?  School expenses?  Movies?

How long have you known him?

Quoting Jadesmommy13: She doesn't work and hasn't worked in years. So why would she be saving to move when she can't pay rent?! She has hocked his stuff before. She tells him she's going to take it and hock it.
Quoting tottaxi:

Many people do not understand...and neither may your ss...that child support isn't just some big ass allowance for the kid to have for totally personal needs.  It's for the rent, the car payment, the utilities that are required to live each and every day.  Granted the BM in your situation is living rent free and on food stamps, but maybe she is trying to accumulate enough money to get a place for her kids and her.  Unless ss knows ALL the details he may not give you an accurate assessment of what is really going on.


cali_gurl
by on Aug. 30, 2014 at 5:29 PM

How old is he? I definitely would give him the option of living more with you guys.

pusheen-kitty
by Bronze Member on Aug. 30, 2014 at 5:49 PM
1 mom liked this
Me? Personally? I don't believe kids lie.

If I heard this I'd ask " are you sure? " deflect and drop the convo. Then I would tell his dad. Hey, this is what I heard. You gotta talk to your kid.

Kids do t know words like "pawn" and they know the difference between "being punished" And have something taken away vs selling stuff. Ok?

If she's living at her moms, getting assistance, getting 500 bucks for her living expenses (CS) and she can't take care of the kid and is struggling then shit. You need to talk to DH, he needs to talk to the kid and his mom and this is a matter that needs to be investigated further. You guys may have to go to court to make sure he is taken care of.

I mean fuck the xbox, she doesn't sound like she can take care of herself or budget well even with the help she is given ( CS, family, assistance). I know people are bleeding hearts here and will say "500" is not a lot - but TANF is what , 700-1400 depending, with food stamps that are over 200 bucks and no rent, no utilities to be paid? And she's not on disability so she healthy and should be able to work? Unless she has a brand new car and joy riding to Mexico there is no reason she can't put money away for an apt.i won't mention a job because she chooses to be a SAHM and that will never change.

Why does it matter what she does? BecUse the kid is with her. She has every opportunity to just be a SAHM and she is not making it. No one in America budgets well with a fixed income. So she may need help ( kid lives with dad until she sorts herself out ) or the posters are right ( the kid is exaggerating and mom is guiltless).

Who knows. Talk to DH and let him handle it.

Feel bad all you want, but it's the kids dads issue. BM can do whatever she wants to her own kid within reason. But don't go rush and buy another xbox for your house.

WLA_diva
by Member on Aug. 30, 2014 at 7:04 PM

DH tried that with the wii system.  Then BM told SD AND the court (in a later, unrelated matter) that DH was a horrible father who didn't know what the meaning of gift-giving was, and if he was a real father, he would allow SD to bring her gifts to BM's house.  SD started to see it that way, too, so DH gave in and future gifts or items were brought to BM's house.  If I give her a gift, though, (no matter how small or insignificant), SD intentionally leaves it here, because BM gets upset to see something I've given to SD, and the hassle and drama is just not worth it to SD.  We think BM also pawns items that DH or GM gives younger SD, because when we ask later (sometimes months, sometimes years) if she is enjoying the item or remind her to bring an item that DH or GM gave her when she goes on a school trip, SD gives us a blank look and then tries to recover.  I'm talking about cameras, expensive binoculars, bicycles, etc.  But not her laptop.  I think even BM would have to pry the mac laptop (a gift from GM) from SD's cold dead fingers before she could pawn it.  

Quoting NotARockStar:

Buy him nice stuff for your house if nice stuff is important to you, that way mom can't pawn it.

This is one of life's many lessons. There are some people you just can't trust.


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