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your ex's SO asking the CP for extra time..ETA

Posted by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:20 AM
  • 25 Replies

just a question on how exactly you would handle this purely out of curiosity...

What would you do (if anything) if the ex's S/O asked you for extra time with your kid?  Let's say the other parent is of the EOWE variety.  How would you respond? Or would you respond at all?

***Thanks everyone.  I wanted to add that this was not a "me" situation but a "DH" situation.  DH called me to tell me that BM's bf was texting him to get ss this weekend.  Not BM.  BM is EOWE and the bf was named in the C/O as who cannot do drop offs/pickups and yeah...no more nude showering. DH is debating on blasting him via text message or just ignoring it.  I voted ignore and i think DH will end up ignoring...but he really wants to put him in his place.  I just am not sure that "putting him in his place" will solve anything really.

by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:21 AM

Why isn't the parent asking for more time?

bertaboo1
by Silver Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:26 AM

 no clue.  if your ex's g/f did texted/emailed/or called you requesting this...would you ignore it? 

Quoting WifeyC:

Why isn't the parent asking for more time?

 

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:29 AM
2 moms liked this

Mine doesn't count.  My ex isn't involved in DS's life.  I think the first question would be "why are you asking and not Mom/Dad?"  and then go from there.

Quoting bertaboo1:

 no clue.  if your ex's g/f did texted/emailed/or called you requesting this...would you ignore it? 

Quoting WifeyC:

Why isn't the parent asking for more time?



notuseless
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:31 AM
I would be happy and let them, the kids miss their mom.
MakesPrtyBabies
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:33 AM
In my situation, I wouldnt respond. BD doesnt really come around unless he has a new GF and I would assume it was the flavor of the week wanting to play mom.

No way.
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star33
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:34 AM
I used to do that. I cared about my sd. Once I had my own kids, they wanted to see her too. BM told me she knew I'd be the one actually caring for sd. Idk when or how it happened,but it ended up being me home with the kids while he was gone "fishing" all the time.
That's ok cuz I love kids. I enjoyed our time together. I wish we saw her more now. Even though we're divorced, we still see her, just not much now :(
NotARockStar
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:41 AM

My ex asked me if his SO could spend more time with DS. She apparently gets off of work at 3 so wanted to pick DS up from school. I said ok, she never showed up.

If she asked me herself I would say no. That would creep me out. That's not between me and her, that is between her and my ex. That is something she should discuss with him and he discuss with me. Middle man is required. 

Annawest
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:46 AM

I had this happen.  I simply stated no.  If Dad had asked it would have been entirely different, but I'm not giving up my time regularly for SM to do what I can do.  If it's a one time thing, like SM saying, hey my family is doing XYZ and I'd like to take SS (my child), I'd let her. 

megz0511
by Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:50 AM
I once texted bm to ask her if I could pick up their boys for dh's bday to surprise him. She said yes and I thanked her a lot.
KreatingMe
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:52 AM

 To me it would depend on what she was asking. If the SP was talking about a one time event, such as btw there is a birthday party next weekend we would like to take ds to, I would probably discuss it with her. However I would not finalize plans without communicating with dad. If it was a hey, we would like to have more time with ds in general, let's talk about parenting time, I would stop the conversation right there. That's a conversation that the actual parent has to be involved in.

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