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Opinions are like arseholes... I want yours.

Posted by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:29 PM
  • 44 Replies

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A friend of mine posted this (her bio daughter and my two oldest children have the same father).

The back story is, her s.kids are twin 10 year olds and an 11 year old who's mother walked out on them when they were infants. (The twins were barely born). My friend has known the father nearly her whole life and she started dating him a couple years after mom split. She has been raising them along side their father for almost 9 years.

Bio mom showed up out of nowhere about a year ago. They caustiously allowed minimal visitation and it has grown from there. She now has EOWE. But it's been a nightmare for my friend. The s.kids have almost turned their backs on her. And though she is hurt over it, she's been pretty understanding about them wanting to have their mom back.
But this is the kind of thing bio mom pulls.
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:31 PM
If get the piercing out ASAP
soonergirl980
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:35 PM
2 moms liked this

As an actual parent to my kids I would take the piercing out immediately. However, your friend isn't a parent. Dad is and mom gets a say more than SM says. It's between mom and dad.

tiafez
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:39 PM
Dad needs to take her to the doctor and have it and the glue removed if he wants it out.
BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:40 PM

honestly I would say that regardless on how unhappy i would be I would realize it is only a piercing and one bio parent thought it was ok... i would try to not cause a big stink with dh over it.

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:54 PM

my father was a mechanic..he had the tools..if we came home with a piercing...that would have been gone like NOW!

JustOneAndDone
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:58 PM

Is the child's name really Lexus??

Your friend, bless her for everything she's done, isn't the parent.  She needs to let dad and BM, no matter how screwed up she is, handle this.  I"m not saying it's fair, as your friend has been MOM in every way that matters..... but still - she's not mom.  She has no say.  She can't tell her what she is and isn't allowed to do.  I feel for her.  I think you should drag her out for a girls night out this weekend :-)


thejodigirl
by Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:24 PM

Depends. If her DH had her 100 percent involved in the parenting, raising in on those years then I would hope that the father would stand up to BM and let her know she's not going to disrupt the parenting style him and SM have established and worked at. Since you say that the kids have pretty much already turned their backs on SM makes me think maybe they didn't view her as a mom figure, her role might have been purely Step-mother-ish. 

Hard. In my case, well, you already know my case. lol. I'd get the cutters and cut that thing right off while DH called up BM and let her know why she won't be alone with Sd again. 


chanizen
by on Sep. 24, 2014 at 4:09 AM

Dad says no, mom says yes.   I would have sd take the piercing out if I were dad.

i would also advise my friend to get over the "I'm a PARENT" thing.  She isn't.  Mom may not be a very good parent but she is still a parent.  

mouthyhousewife
by on Sep. 24, 2014 at 7:49 AM
I don't think there ever was that mother/child bond with them. But they are... Well... Odd kids.
Odd in the sense that when they were 2/3 they burned down their house.


Quoting thejodigirl:

Depends. If her DH had her 100 percent involved in the parenting, raising in on those years then I would hope that the father would stand up to BM and let her know she's not going to disrupt the parenting style him and SM have established and worked at. Since you say that the kids have pretty much already turned their backs on SM makes me think maybe they didn't view her as a mom figure, her role might have been purely Step-mother-ish. 

Hard. In my case, well, you already know my case. lol. I'd get the cutters and cut that thing right off while DH called up BM and let her know why she won't be alone with Sd again. 

bertaboo1
by Silver Member on Sep. 24, 2014 at 8:12 AM

dont you have to go to a tattoo parlor to get a piercing like that?  i mean...you cant walk into walmart or claires and say...hey...i want my 10 year old to have a lip/nose/eyebrow piercing.  a child that young, even with parent consent could be facing legal ramifications...

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