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What is the correct way to say 'No way in hell'?

Posted by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:28 PM
  • 51 Replies

My stepdaughter just started staying with us every other weekend. Her primary guardian is her grandmother. I spoke with her grandma to clear the air on a few issues today and for the most part it went well, except for one thing. Her grandma says that if SD wants to start staying with us every other weekend, her dog needs to come with her.

Um, what?

She says it's SD's dog, not hers and she doesn't want to be stuck home with the dog on the weekends we have her because she has things she wants to do.

Here's the thing. We already have a dog. We have a tiny space(like, itty freakin' bitty) and our dog HATES other dogs.

I'm not crazy for thinking this request is insane, right? How do I tell her it's not going to happen?

by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:42 PM
1 mom liked this
Would you be willing to place sd's dog in a kennel a few days a month?
bresmommy21
by Bronze Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:45 PM

Well grandma is the one who let the grand daughter get the dog before she was staying over night with you. This is a tough one.

mrsd2013
by Gold Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:48 PM
5 moms liked this
Correct or polite?

Just tell grandma 'I really wish I could accommodate your request, we really enjoy having sd here EOWE but our dog does not do well with other dogs.'
jules2boys
by Platinum Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:51 PM

This.  I agree with this. 

Quoting mrsd2013: Correct or polite? Just tell grandma 'I really wish I could accommodate your request, we really enjoy having sd here EWOW but our dog does not do well with other dogs.'


tiffa5ny
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:53 PM
Money's super tight right now. I could maybe offer to half it with her?

Quoting amantonacci: Would you be willing to place sd's dog in a kennel a few days a month?
tiffa5ny
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:58 PM
She expects all of her other stuff to stay there when she comes over, and also expects her to return in the same clothes she left in. Why does she think a freaking dog is an acceptable exception to that rule, ya know? It's not even a cute dog. It's old, and yappy. Not that it really makes a difference, we still couldn't take him even if he was loving and adorable. Lol

Quoting bresmommy21:

Well grandma is the one who let the grand daughter get the dog before she was staying over night with you. This is a tough one.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:00 PM
2 moms liked this
I agree with the one above about politely saying - I wish we could but we can't.

When I divorced, we had a dog that obviously was our dog but it was my daughters dog. We got the dog for her. She was little. She didn't take care of it. But it was her dog. The dog went back and forth between our homes. The dog lived with dad but would come stay with us and go back and forth.

Then the dog ended up with me full time as sm does not like dogs. And the back and forth was no longer workable. She's about to be 13. I see the future and it is sad. It is going to break my daughters heart when this dog passes. Ugh I hate that dogs don't have long lives.
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tiffa5ny
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:02 PM
How about correct AND polite? Lol. There's nothing in the custody agreement referring to personal belongings so this is a gray area and inI'm afraid if it's not said exactly right she'll try and tell me that I have no choice because it's SDs personal belonging.

Quoting mrsd2013: Correct or polite?

Just tell grandma 'I really wish I could accommodate your request, we really enjoy having sd here EWOW but our dog does not do well with other dogs.'
bresmommy21
by Bronze Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:02 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting tiffa5ny: She expects all of her other stuff to stay there when she comes over, and also expects her to return in the same clothes she left in. Why does she think a freaking dog is an acceptable exception to that rule, ya know? It's not even a cute dog. It's old, and yappy. Not that it really makes a difference, we still couldn't take him even if he was loving and adorable. Lol
Quoting bresmommy21:

Well grandma is the one who let the grand daughter get the dog before she was staying over night with you. This is a tough one.

 Just tell her it is not possible for you to take the dog, you have visitation with the step daughter not her dog.

XXanonymousXX
by Gold Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:06 PM
Does the custody agreement give DH EOW or is visitation at gma's discretion?

Quoting tiffa5ny: How about correct AND polite? Lol. There's nothing in the custody agreement referring to personal belongings so this is a gray area and inI'm afraid if it's not said exactly right she'll try and tell me that I have no choice because it's SDs personal belonging.

Quoting mrsd2013: Correct or polite?

Just tell grandma 'I really wish I could accommodate your request, we really enjoy having sd here EWOW but our dog does not do well with other dogs.'
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